1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How can I stop misleading guys

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ChromeNerd, Oct 23, 2013.

  1. ChromeNerd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am naturally flirty with guys. I often give them flirty looks by accident, so they end up talking to me. I often respond because I find guys easy to talk to. Especially if they approach me. I get too nervous around girls.

    This would be great if I was straight. The problem is that I'm not. I'm not actually attracted to the guys I stare at. I usually stare at guys that I think are stupid or annoying. I want people to take my sexuality seriously, but I think this annoying habit is getting in the way. I also don't want to mislead guys. It doesn't help that I look femme.
     
  2. Vapid

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2013
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Sorry, if this isn't too helpful, but you might need to keep an eye on your behavior. Recognize what constitutes as 'flirty' and put more stock into friendly gestures.
     
  3. Tzoa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Habits are difficult to break, no matter what they are. Do you have any friends who you're out to? Could you ask them to pull you out of staring if they notice you doing it?

    I agree with Vapid. I think you'll have to become more aware of when you're doing something "flirty", like staring. Most people aren't fully aware of what they're doing when they're engaged in a habit (staring, nail biting, hair twirling, drumming their fingers, etc.), which is why having a friend around who is aware of your habit can be helpful. If there are stupid or annoying people around, try to focus on something else so you won't end up staring at them.
     
  4. photoguy93

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. Olaf
    I used to think girls would feel the same way about me...haha. I realized I was flattering myself. I know guys tend to be a bit more oblivious, but still.

    I understand that it's great to be smiley and happy.

    However, work on being too flirty. I've seen a ton of hot girls/great girls in my life that go without such attention. So either you've got a love potion going on or you need to tone it down a bit. :slight_smile:
     
  5. pansy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2013
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Looking at a guy isn't an invitation to anything? I mean if you honestly think you're oozing flirt you could check it, but chances are they're hetero and they're assuming you're hetero, there's not much to stop that. If he start chatting you up just make it clear you're not interested. The level of butthurt will vary from guy to guy, anyone worth having as a friend isn't going to feel mislead and offended unless you went out on a few dates with him or something before telling him you're gay.