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How can I get my crush drunk with me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by unknown18, Dec 13, 2017.

  1. unknown18

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    First of all, I know what you're going to say - bad idea, however, I've gotten to the point that I'm so desperately in love with him that I can't bare to go without him knowing my feelings, and I know that alcohol will force it out of me and him if there is any. Please don't reply with 'don't do it', I'd really just like to know how I can get us together out of school for some time. For the past three weeks ever, since he mentioned the idea of us having a LAN party or making moonshine (random I know) I've been trying to convince us to do either of those plans but he doesn't seem interested anymore since I've reminded him multiple times and nothing has happened.

    Today, he suggested that he'd rather not make moonshine since there's a chance of us going blind and no real way of testing for methanol, which is perfectly understandable lol, so now I'm stuck with what to do. He still wants to do something crazy (because we both have those sort of random interests) but I just don't know what to do. To be honest I'd really just love to have a LAN party but he doesn't seem to be into the idea anymore, which kind of bothers me since I've waited so long and got so hyped up but nothing has happened. Anyone have any suggestions as to how I can approach this situation?

    He was really nice recently and setup this plan to get me outside again (social anxiety) and even suggested that just me and him go to lunch (which ended up being him and others, but i'm still grateful of course). Today, when I bought a bottle of lucozade, he said 'you know that stuff is really bad for you right', I replied 'who cares', he responds with 'I care'. Now I know that doesn't seem like much but not many people are that nice in highschool, believe me.

    Here's a recent conversation over messages to give you an idea of the problem I'm having, he just kind of dropped the conversation after that and I just don't know what to do now...

    him: I would love to make a still
    but probs not for ethanol lmao

    me: What else lol

    him: idk
    just make shit for fun

    me: Yeah, i just wanna do something fun on the weekends because I'm always doing jack

    him: ik lmao
    sometimes i'm the same

    I've never been so in love with someone before and I'm really grateful to have a crush that's such an amazing friend (perhaps why I fell in love with him) but I just want out relationship to progress because I feel so connected to him even when I'm not near him. I feel like he knows exactly when I want him to send me a message. Anyway, thanks to anyone who took the time to read this and I'd love if you could give me some advice.
     
    #1 unknown18, Dec 13, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
  2. Lin1

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    To be honest your friendship with this guy doesn't seem healthy at all from your side. He seems like a caring, nice, friend but you seem extremely obsessed with him and, I will repeat myself but getting a friend drunk is NOT a good idea.

    I have read all of your posts and it looks like you don't hang out that much outside of school, the few times you could have hung out just together, like the lunch he invited you to he ended up bringing more people along , he also canceled the LAN party which would have been another moment you could have spent together, so what does that tell me? That as much as he is nice and you love him, he just doesn't seem into you in a romantic way.

    If he was he would jump at the chance to spend alone time with you but he doesn't. You can't force him to drink but if you did and was to make a move I think you would really be jeopardizing your friendship with him. Chances are, judging by your posts, that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. You have said you don't have that many close friends so you may want to think about it before making any drunken night confessions as it may really ruin your friendship with him.
     
  3. Gravity

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    You've asked it not to be said, but it needs to be said: don't do it. Getting someone drunk for any hidden motive, but especially romantic/sexual ones, is highly suspect at best and illegal at worst. Even if he did have some secret feelings that he can't express without getting drunk, how long is that going to continue? Are you going to have to be drunk every time you want to express feelings between the two of you?

    And don't do any moonshining, for exactly the reasons your friend has stated.

    Otherwise, I have to echo Linning. If this person is not reciprocating your feelings, you need to either accept him as a friend or move on - especially before you cross any lines, with alcohol or otherwise.
     
    Elendil and Chiroptera like this.
  4. GlassWalls

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    Just remember it's actually of questionable legality to have sex with someone who's drunk because it's not considered full consent (check your country's laws though to be sure). So don't try to make a pass on him lol. But maybe you should consider trying to figure out if he is gay before you confess your feelings? Do you know how he feels about gay issues? Try to start a conversation about some gay couple at school, try to make a really casual comment to gage his reaction.

    It might be better if you talk to him when you're not drunk simply because alcohol can mess with memory. You might not be able to remember the conversation if you get too drunk.

    It seems extreme to confess feelings for him if you don't know his sexuality and/or he doesn't know yours, but I do understand the appeal because it is always possible he's closeted (if he's not out as gay) but sometimes wishful thinking clouds judgement.
     
  5. unknown18

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    Well, when I confessed that I was bisexual after he purposely searched porn into my search history and found some stuff (lol), he said he didn't mind in the slightest but unfortunately gave no indication of his own sexuality.
     
  6. GlassWalls

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    Well it's good if he's okay with your sexuality. Does he ever talk about girls that he is interested in? You could ask him who he has a crush on?
     
  7. unknown18

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    Never talks about girls and talks to them the same way he talks to boys. I think we may be doing something on the Friday that school term ends, like a party, hopefully.
     
    #7 unknown18, Dec 15, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2017
  8. GlassWalls

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    Well, good luck! Hopefully it works out well for you two!
     
  9. Chip

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    So essentially, you want to get him drunk so you can rape him. I don't mean to be harsh, but that's what it would be, as someone who is drunk cannot legally consent to sex.

    This is a really terrible idea. Clearly he is trusting you as a friend, and you are lusting after him and want to be sexual with him. So either figure out it's a really terrible idea, give it up, and figure out how to be a good, supportive friend... or acknowledge to yourself that your goal is to take advantage of him.
     
  10. GlassWalls

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    He never said anything about having sex with him drunk. He's just trying to find a way for them to talk about their feelings.
     
  11. Chip

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    If that's the case, then I apologize. Nonetheless, he clearly indicates he has a strong crush, and it's hard to imagine, in those circumstances, someone not wanting something to happen as a result of getting drunk.

    In any case, getting drunk isn't the solution.
     
    #11 Chip, Dec 16, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2017