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How can I become a feminine guy?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. Joe2001

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    I don't really know what to do then. I just want to be a person that people like being around and someone that can have friends, neither of which are possible with my current personality.
     
  2. Joe2001

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    Any more ways that I can do it and just reinvent myself? I am on a cruise ship at the moment and just came back from the 80's night. I was too shy to do any of the dancing. How on this earth will I be able to host it in 10 years?
     
    #22 Joe2001, Jul 10, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2018
  3. Destin

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    You already can have friends and there will be people who like being around you with your current personality. I think you're perfectly fine from all of our talks on here and I guarantee if I were at your school and your age we would have become friends in person naturally at some point. You're a really nice guy and just need to be more confident in yourself. Come out of your shell a bit more and it will be easier to find people to hang out with. You don't need to change your personality, just be more willing to express your current personality and work on pushing away the shyness.
     
  4. Linning

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    It does sound to me like you are a very nice/decent chap and that there is much more in you than you believe, I also think I would have befriended you if we were to be in the same school because you do come across (on here) as easy to talk to and quite chill.

    You obviously have a low self-esteem though and a bad vision of yourself and this is what is blocking you from attracting people probably (negative feelings tend to push people away while confidence is key).

    You don't need to reinvente yourself, you need to get out of your comfort zone. Everyday force yourself to do something that you are usually too scared/shy to do. Like starting a conversation with a stranger or doing even just 5 minutes of dancing at one of the parties. Small steps and the more you do them, the more used to it you will be and the more confident you will be in your ability to do it.

    I had to force myself to talk to hundreds of strangers before I could stop freaking out about it and just do it, and I am glad I forced myself to do that because now I have the ability to rock up a conversation with anyone at anytime and it has brought plenty of great encounters/friendship/more.

    So everyday just go out there and do one thing you wouldn't normally do, soon enough all those things will become natural things you do and part of your personality.
     
    #24 Linning, Jul 10, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2018
  5. Joe2001

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    Thanks to you both for your words of encouragement. As it stands, self-esteem and confidence is looking like a major hurdle that I have to overcome. As for reinventing myself, I have a family member who was said to be really quiet when she was younger and is now an extrovert.

    I used the example of flamboyant/feminine guys because they always seem so happy, have many friends and just seem liked. I envy those that have had an easier ride than I have in high school friendships, and being introvert has led me to 5 years of misery with the worst person that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. If I was more extrovert from the beginning, I would have never been forced to be friends with him. He's now gone, so this is the time for me to really reinvent myself.

    In addition, I want every chance of succeeding with my dream job. At this current point, I have no chance of succeeding in it, so need to do something.
     
    #25 Joe2001, Jul 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
  6. Linning

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    Like I said, I used to be an introvert and now I continuously meet and chat with strangers so it is possible but it's about working on your weaknesses and turning them into strenght.

    Don't think that because someone is outgoing they are having an easier ride. I have many flamboyant/outgoing friends and if you look behind the aura of happinness they put on and actually get to know them you will see that many actually suffer from depression and sometimes even low self-esteem but hide behind their persona/outgoingness to hide it from people and create what ressemble an happy life.

    There is no guarantee that you will be happier being outgoing, but there is nothing bad in trying, working on your confidence and self-esteem though will definitely make you much more happy in the long-term :slight_smile: