I have an online friend I frequently talk to. I've known her for a few years. Last year on pride week she said "everyone's got Skittles for pride week so I made sure I don't have any in my house". Then once in an attempt to come out I mentioned I had a gay friend. She said it's not a good idea to be friends with gay people. She is religous and it once came up in conversation that she believes things in the Bible should be taken literally so I'm guessing this is partially the source of her homophobia. I realize I should have broken things off with her a while ago. I could just stop talking to her but what do I say if she asks why I stopped talking to her? The whole thing about my gay friend was so long ago that she probably doesn't even remember that conversation. I feel stupid for putting up with her this long but I think I'm finally ready to let this friendship go. I could tell her the truth because then she'd probably stop talking to me since she thinks having gay friends isn't a good idea and that would be for the best. I also have mental illness and she knows this so I'm afraid she'd tell me being queer is another one of my mental illnesses. If I tell her I'm afraid it'll turn into a theology debate and I don't feel like dealing with that. Unfortuently I have yet to feel comfortable in my skin as a queer person so I'm kind of afraid she'll drag me down if I tell her. Maybe I should just tell her I'm busy lately so I don't have time to talk. I could put her on ignore if I told her and things didn't go well. What should I do?
It happened long ago you say? My advise is to try to find out if her belief is still the same. If yes, then I guess you would want to end the friendship, and in your place I would just tell her something like this: I'm sorry but it isn't a good idea to be friends with someone who is (insert a trait of your friend, like eating too much chocolate for example), because it is my deep belief, the same as your belief that it isn't a good idea to be friends with gay people. I don't care that you (only like the chocolate and mean no harm to others - example), but it's just wrong, it's a sin, exactly what you think about gay people. So I'm sorry, but this friendship is over.
Tell her youve come to a realisation about your sexuality and that if she has certain opinions then you should end your friendship. If she refuses to change her views or says anything bigoted, block her and don't speak to her again.
If I were you, I'd just be honest. I know it sucks when people say things that you are afraid of them saying, but just don't take it to heart. Just got to remember that this person doesn't get it, and you have tried to open her mind. Just come out, and if she can't accept it, she wasn't meant to be your friend. We are all here for you if she says something that hurts. Just remember, arguing with whatever she says can be exhausting, and probably won't get anywhere. You don't have to, it's probably easiest to ignore it if she starts saying hurtful things. If I were you I'd block her if she did that.
