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Homophobes

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by VenomTail, Mar 30, 2018.

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  1. VenomTail

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    I just wanted to say, I see alot of people attacking homophobes and saying they're horrible people etc and I just want to say this isint always the case.

    When i was growing Up I didn't realise I was Gay till i was about 13.
    Due to my upbringing I was told being gay was wrong.
    I didn't know if I said something was gay or whatever that someone would be upset, it was just part of the enviroment I was bought up in. And now that I'm older and come out I feel bad about it.
    Gosh, I even voted against gay marriage.
    And here I am gay as yaaaaas and wanting to get married someday.

    So not all homophobia is cause someones a bad person, it's taught or learnt and a lack of knowledge

    Of course there are people who once they know continue to be mean and horrible.

    I'm just saying consider someones circumstances.

    I'm sick of reading the all homophobes are bigots and evil statement.
     
  2. HM03

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    Realizing I was gay made me had so much more empathy for people on a variety of scales. I'm not sure how empathetic I'd be if I was straight comapred to the amount i have being gay.

    In my mind there are two types of homophobes. There are those that key people's car, physically and/or verbal attack gay people etc. Those ones are "evil" imho. I don't care how you were brought up, if you think it's okay to treat someone like a piece of shit, then yeah I'll think you're a terrible person.

    Saying you don't agree with it or giving me a weird look? Fine. I don't appreciate it, but realize not everybody is super open minded and I appreciate you not treating me like verbal punching bag.

    EDIT: Not an personal attack on you, but why justify people's shitty attitude on group thinking? Everybody has their own brain, and in an ideal world, would form their own opinions on things because they critically thought about issues rather than believe what everybody else is saying.
     
    #2 HM03, Mar 30, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2018
  3. Blast

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    Homophobes are bigots by definition. Homophobes are bad people becuase they are homophobic. I dont care how charming they are how much they give to charity. Same goes for racists.
    People arent characatures... if you think there is some big homophobe out there twiddling their thumbs and laughing manically then you are sorely mistaken. Homophobes are people and no amount of ignorance or carelessness will excuse their actions in my eyes.

    I dont have time to waste on defending the poor misunderstood homophobes when LGBT people are being discriminated against, driven to suicide, murdered, bullied, ridiculed and so on.

    You’re sick of reading that homophobes are bad people? Im sick of reading about how their actions destroy and are destroying the lives of people on this very forum and beyond.

    Get some perspective.
     
    #3 Blast, Mar 30, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2018
  4. VenomTail

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    Dude calm down.
    I was saying that some of them honestly don't know different. Some. Not all.

    It's the fact that I have perspective I can say this.

    I've been bullied, sexually harassed and almost kidnapped by homophobes.

    You think I don't know any of that?
     
  5. Richard321

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    Bravo! I agree with you totally, HM03. There are bigots and then there are BIGOTS.
     
  6. Richard321

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    I can see where Blast is coming from. I think also I can see where you are coming from, VenomTail. Some homophobes are silent and inactive, but they still impact on others. Some homophobes hang around with heckling homophobes - again they impact on others. Some homophobes use inuendo. Some homophobes belittle or name-call or threaten. Some homophobes threaten and intimidate. Some homophobes abuse mentally and use physical violence. Some homophobes all-out politically attack. Some homophobes are nasty, ugly fuckers who make people's lives hell.

    I only find the very lowest level homophobes tolerable. Even they negatively impact on others, though.
     
    #6 Richard321, Mar 31, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2018
  7. 21zephyr

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    I really didn’t want to respond here because this topic is easily attacked. Part of this subject and life in general is to pick your battles.

    I only came out 6 months ago and I’m 52. I’ve lived in a part of the country that is full of homophobia- if I were to try to right every homophobic comment, I’d probably be dead by now. When I came out (I’m only out to about 20 people now) and people I loved put a face to homosexuality, their attitude toward being gay changed. Quite a few apologized for gay comments they made in the past. Going forward I know they will be less inclined to make these remarks.... this is one way we can make change, by putting a face to our sexuality. Too many are in the closet- the voice we have isn’t heard. My sister and her husband were quite vocal against gays- after I came out they both had a positive conversation with me and now there are two less homophobic people in the world. They probably aren’t going to march for gay rights, but they aren’t going to make the hurtful comments either.

    Guess what I’m saying is we have to continue to chip away at the hateful language and action little by little. In my lifetime, I’ve noticed a huge change in acceptance although I feel we are still the most discriminated against group in the world.
     
  8. BiGeek

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    I 100% agree with Blast

    Any type of hatred in my eyes is horrible I don't care if its taught or not that does not make it any less horrible.
    Someone spewing hatred by definition is a horrible person taught or not it still makes them a horrible person.
    I am not saying people can't change their minds if and when they do good for them.

    I am very open minded some would say that I am too open minded so I consider everyones circumstances.
     
  9. Anon2234

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    I was slightly homophobic when i was a teen just so i could hide the fact i was gay, it was only when i was around straight friends and never homophobic to someones face and even with that i still feel bad about my attitude when i was growing up.
     
  10. Devil Dave

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    Venomtail, I think your comments are well intentioned, but honestly, do you not think gay people have already spent enough time considering the thoughts and feelings from the perspective of homophobes?

    Those gay people who come out late in life, after marrying and having children, because they wanted their anti-gay families to think they are "normal".
    Those same sex couples who refrain from holding hands in public in case they offend someone or get laughed at, and possibly even attacked.

    And there are still places in the world where gay couples can't get married. There are still countries in the world where people are arrested and put to death for being gay. There are politicians coming into power with anti-LGBT views.

    We have a lot of our fellow LGBT+ people reaching out for support and guidance, because they are scared of how homophobic people are going to react to them. And I have seen users on this forum offering advice that will keep LGBT+ people safe and protect their well being as they cope with living in a homophobic environment.
    But some of us have very little time to be nice when it comes to dealing with homophobes.
     
  11. VenomTail

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    Hi, I came back for a while!

    I honestly wish a moderator would delete this thread. It's been turned into something it was never intended to be.

    I'm not going to respond to each comment because,

    1: I know a lot of the experiences everyone said, personally and through others.

    Everyone seems to think I'm trying to justify the behavior but that's not what this was about

    2: I don't want my words being twisted anymore.
     
  12. Richard321

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    VenomTail, I found this thread of use. I think others have and will, too. Sometimes threads don't go as we want / anticipate. We !earn from them anyway.
     
  13. PatrickUK

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    It's not always easy to get your point across when using the written word. Perhaps you'd like to clarify what you meant in light of the responses received.
     
  14. NoName87

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    I understand OP response:

    I would never condone homophobia, it is a cultural virus. But that is exactly the OP point it is cultural. Some individuals just grow up not knowing any different, I can’t blame someone for their upbringing. I can blame them when they can start to think for themselves and CHOOSE to be homophobic.
     
  15. SkyWinter

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    I agree with you OP. I've never hated gay/trans people but I did use to think it was a choice. I've noticed that's part of the issue. It's not that people are "homophobic" it's that they think being gay/lesbian/trans is a "choice". When 95% of people are cisgender/straight it makes sense to them that being gay is something people are choosing. But the problem for those 95% of people is a lot of them are then thinking "Why are these 5% of people choosing to be so different?" "Why don't they conform" To them, gay/trans people look like rebels going against the grain. These straight people aren't gay, and they aren't trans so they don't get it. It's like being born blind. If you weren't born that way, you don't get it.

    That's why I don't like this movement towards saying that gender and sexual attraction are all social constructs and their is no biology at play, cause it means being gay/trans is actually a choice and it welcomes back the idea that people can send their kids to those "turn em' straight" camps, and that it will work.
     
  16. 21zephyr

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    Well put! I wanted to like your post, but it wasn’t an option. In a perfect world with perfect people none of this would happen. We are all imperfect- I hate gay jokes and the word fag, but I don’t have the time to correct every instance... I hope that doesn’t make me a bad homosexual.
     
  17. Assassin'sKat

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    I was never homophobic, but I was transphobic as a kid. I didn't know better. That didn't make me a bad person, because as I grew up, I learned from it. I realized my error. And now I try to be supportive.

    Sometimes ya just don't know better until you get a chance to learn better. Sometimes you are misinformed from the time you are a kid.

    It should also be noted that I never bullied anyone for being trans, or bothered them or anything. I simply didn't understand it and claimed I didn't like it.
     
    #17 Assassin'sKat, Apr 4, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2018
  18. Lexa

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    @SkyWinter I agree.
    A while ago one of my collagues said she thought that two girls kissed each other in Dubai just to provoke others around them...
    When I explained to her what I thought really happened (kissed each other without realizing they were in Dubai and as a consequence that it was dangerous to do so) she left the room as quickly as she could.
     
  19. SkyWinter

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    Yeah, that's a pretty good example of what I'm talking about. She probably didn't like that you were trying to justify what she saw as inappropriate behavior.
     
  20. Loves books

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    I do believe that people can be raised to be homophobic and that's not entirely their fault. But the homophobes who go out of their way to say or do something nasty to gay people are horrible people. Lots of people hate something but don't go around verbally and physically assaulting people.
     
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