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"homewrecker" friend??

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by galaxygia, Mar 15, 2018.

  1. galaxygia

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
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    Out to everyone
    I don't really know if I can do anything about this, as it's not my business really, but I need to vent...

    So, at my school we have a small but very close-knit and generally pretty nice LGBT community, but as far as dating goes there's either the person who dates EVERYONE or the person who dates no one. One of my friends falls in the first category and she's causing a lot of my other friends pain because she seems to have a goal of getting in the pants of every queer girl at school. She only gets interested in girls when they are seemingly "untouchable".

    Her first girlfriend had extremely unapproving parents and after they found out there was a huge argument, but things calmed down. That was the initial allure to the relationship, but it was lost and things got boring. My friend asked her first girlfriend if she and her second girlfriend could basically have sex while they stayed together. Needless to say, her first girlfriend broke up with her because of this.

    Her next girlfriend was her longest relationship, of about nine months. They had a legitimately good relationship, though it was born out of the sort of "untouchable" thing. They had an ugly breakup near the end of the school year during finals week, because my friend found there was just too much emotional baggage.

    She didn't express interest in another girl until after this girl was locked in a committed relationship with someone else. When this girl basically broke up for my friend, she just used this girl for sex after being in an actual relationship for months, basically telling her "let's be friends with benefits" on SNAPCHAT.

    Most recently, my friend has expressed interest in having sex with a girl that currently has two other people crushing on her. If my friend had sex with this girl, a certain person would get EXTREMELY angry. Keep in mind, my friend found out about this girl having so many people crushing on her just last weekend, and YESTERDAY she confided that she liked this girl.

    All this has happened in a span of about one and a half years. This has been really unhealthy for my friends as the breakups and the "homewrecking" of relationships have negatively affected them. I don't know if I can do anything, as I try to stay as far as possible from all this, but I really needed to get all this out since a lot of my other friends who aren't LGBT are completely oblivious to this.

    I don't know if anyone could possibly have any advice for all of this, but thanks for reading anyway :slight_smile:
     
    #1 galaxygia, Mar 15, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
  2. smurf

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    All of that was hard to follow, but the one thing I will say is that there is no such thing as a "homewrecker". One person cannot break a relationship. Someone in that relationship must choose to break it off and they are also to blame for the break ups.

    But like you said, there is not much to do other than help your friend examine why she is behaving the way she does. But at the same time your other friends have to understand that they are to blame for some of this. If people wanted to, they could just distance themselves from this person, but they don't seem like they want to.

    At the end, this is kinda what highschool is all about. Learning what you like your relationships to look like, learning how to handle certain situations, and learning what a toxic relationship looks like.