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Hmm... Friends? Lovers? In-between?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Majorelle, May 24, 2019.

  1. Majorelle

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    I legit have nowhere else to openly talk about my relationships with my friend group (which are all part of the LGBT community, BTW) so here I am...

    So there's this fluid guyfriend that I have, and we're close. The thing is, he makes out with random people as well as his bi/lesbian friend, who also happens to make out with some other people... I think that she's stopped now that she has a girl she's planning to ask out, but that's beside the point.

    Anyways, we have a weirdish platonic-but-not relationship. Like, we've done things like cuddle, spoon, give lap and arm pillows, hold hands, and hug in public for long periods of time. We also constantly tease each other. The thing is, we haven't done anything like kissing or confess our undying love for each other, but I still feel as if there's some kind of interest involved?

    Anyways, I feel like we're both sending confusing signals, because I'm usually a touchy-feely person with everyone I come across and so is he. I'm confused. One moment we could be laughing at memes together then the next thing I know he's draped over me while playing with my hands, or dropping bombs like "Majorelle, you're really pretty" without blinking an eye.

    Objective opinion is greatly appreciated from all genders and all ages please~ Is this normal between platonic friends? Is he interested in me in a sexual or romantic way at this point? Is he considering me as just another candidate for a make-out sesh? Please tell me your thoughts on this!
     
  2. Majorelle

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    As a side note, I'm Luna -- Majorelle is just my username!
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hello @Majorelle (Luna)! Welcome to EC!

    What you describe isn't 'normal', but, then, what is actually 'normal'?

    I'm sorry to say that the way you describe this guy, he is a USER at this point in his life. He doesn't seem to actually care for anyone beyond their ability to provide him sexual pleasure. Based on the limited information you provided, I would strongly suggest that you distance yourself from this young man (PLAYER) right now and cut off all ties with him at the earliest opportunity. It very much sounds like he will otherwise only disappoint and hurt you in the near future.

    My 2cents.
     
  4. Majorelle

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    I was thinking about this as well! The thing is, I feel like we're both using each other as comfort in the sense that we both have depression and struggle with getting acceptance from our family about being part of the LGBT community. Our other friends had no problem in coming out, but my coming out ended up in an explosive argument that lasted months (with sexuality continuing not to be a topic of discussion in the household) and his parents don't approve of him exhibiting feminine traits. Because of this, I feel like our ties are closer. I don't want to push him away, but listening to your opinion, I feel like I do need to set boundaries...
     
  5. Quantumreality

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    Hey @Majorelle ,

    If he is that important to you, then setting boundaries sounds like a very good idea - as long as you set them clearly and he adheres to them.

    I wish you all the best!
     
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  6. silverhalo

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    Well it's difficult to tell because everyone's normal is different. I guess my other question is how do you feel about him? Would you be interest in it becoming more with him? If you were then the best thing isn't to have a conversation with him about it.