Hi

Well you don't have to go on a date with somebody you are super into right off the bat. Tons of younger people don't have experience. Just set your expectations for the date. Just say I'm still figuring out my relationship type and goals, so I'm not looking to get serious or hookup - just a nice time. People do that sort of thing on dating apps all the time. Even people my age.

There will be other people who will take a chance on you, or they may just want a date with no expectations or rejections. Just a good old time. Just make sure to set solid boundaries so bad actors don't try to take advantage of you.

You can even ask a friend to take you out on a practice date. I've done that for a couple of girls in the past. We did couple things and I gave them pointers, worked on their flirting game, and they asked questions the whole time, and we just hung out and had a good time. It was good practice for me too.

 

Hi @AimingHigh, I'm trying to keep up with your story. While some people share similar desires and experiences, everyone is different. I'm new here too, and I'm finding everyone here is not only understanding, but supportive as well.

So maybe I can help with a silly, fun question for you...

Is there an actress, or a female (athlete, singer, or social media) personality you find physically attractive? Maybe there is and you just never paid all that much attention to it. I'm just curious if you stop and think about it, is there a female you don't know personally that you're attracted to?

And regarding your friend who is out, the one you got jealous over her date with another girl, but then was a bit relieved when it didn't work out...Do think you might be attracted to her, perhaps? If the answer is "yes", then what physical type is she? And see if that type matches up with any celebrity crushes. It's something I've thought about myself. It might be silly, but you never know!

This is definitely the place to come for help finding those answers!

 

Ooh! The old "mistletoe test"! I LOVE IT!! Have you picked out a special movie to help set the mood?

 

@AimingHigh ... I just thought of something you might want to think about... Obviously, I don't know the dynamic with your friend, and you should never do anything you aren't comfortable with, but if your friend is confident and she knows it? Maybe you should start assert a bit of control in the relation, for lack of a better phrasing. Never be mean or rude, of course, but don't let her beauty or confidence intimate you (if that makes sense). Be polite, but don't over flower her with compliments. Make her earn them from you by holding back a little. Make it clear YOU'RE the one in control. IF that's what you want, and if you think she will respond to that. It's something only you can judge. But based on how you describe her, she will be used to being gushed over and being in the driver's seat. If you play against her expectations, you might very well peak her interest and get HER to work to get that attention from YOU. You will instantly intrigue her and stand out form everyone else...So when you finally do respond, you'll not only be in control of the dynamic (which she might find both refreshing and stimulating), she will know she must make an effort to please you in order to that sort attention from you. You will then set the rules in relation, moving forward.

Again, only you can gauge is this is appropriate, but you might not only win her over, but also set the rules for what happens next.

 

**UPDATE** (Sorry. I tried editing my previous response but ran out of time. Here it is again corrected and updated...)

@AimingHigh ... I just thought of something you might want to think about... Obviously, I don't know the dynamic with your friend, and you should never do anything you aren't comfortable with, but if your friend is confident and she knows it? Maybe you should start asserting a bit of control in the relationship, for lack of a better phrasing. Never be mean or rude, of course, but don't let her beauty or confidence intimidate you (if that makes sense). Be polite, but don't over flower her with compliments. Make her EARN them from you by holding back a little. Make it clear YOU'RE the one in control (ie. "I want you sitting HERE tonight", etc)

IF that's what you want, and if you think she will respond to that. It's something only you can judge. But based on how you describe her, she will be used to being gushed over and being in the driver's seat. If you play against her expectations, you might very well peak her interest and get HER to WORK to get that attention from YOU. You will instantly intrigue her and stand out from everyone else...So when you finally do respond, you'll not only be in control of the dynamic (which she might find both refreshing and stimulating), she will know she must make an effort to please you in order to that sort attention from you. You will then set the rules in relationship, moving forward.

Again, only you can gauge if this is appropriate, but you might not only win her over, but also make the decisions for what happens next.

Good luck! You've already begun to take the lead by planning out the night and preparing mistletoe for her.
Keep us posted!!