Hi

Well you don't have to go on a date with somebody you are super into right off the bat. Tons of younger people don't have experience. Just set your expectations for the date. Just say I'm still figuring out my relationship type and goals, so I'm not looking to get serious or hookup - just a nice time. People do that sort of thing on dating apps all the time. Even people my age.

There will be other people who will take a chance on you, or they may just want a date with no expectations or rejections. Just a good old time. Just make sure to set solid boundaries so bad actors don't try to take advantage of you.

You can even ask a friend to take you out on a practice date. I've done that for a couple of girls in the past. We did couple things and I gave them pointers, worked on their flirting game, and they asked questions the whole time, and we just hung out and had a good time. It was good practice for me too.

 

When I happens in your head are they male or female? Are there any similarities between the people? I assume you mean they are either made up or like a celebrity when you say you aren’t going to meet them.

 

I totally get that, I would never have been into a one night stand or random hookups that just would never have worked for me. You can try imagining having a partner, celebrity, faceless fantasy anything is fine but don’t just imagine being intimate with them, sometimes just imagining sharing your life with someone and what that would be like can be a helpful thing too.

 

Well it is also a possibility that you don’t have a preference one way or the other. I’m not bi so I’m certainly not an expert, I know that a lot of people that identify as bi don’t necessarily have a completely 50:50 split between men and women but equally it is possible.
I can totally understand your desire to find a label and a conclusion to your questioning but equally you could just label yourself as not straight or queer or even unsure for now and then wait until someone really does make you feel that strong desire and make it clearer for you.
I found the actual imagining of sex didn’t really do anything for me before I’d ever had a girlfriend, for me it was more about imagining who I could see myself being really close to and coming home to in the evening and sharing my life with or sitting on the sofa with.

 

No worries, you will get there. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.