It's a little late where I'm at, but I thought I'd introduce myself, and then browse the forums tomorrow. I'm 41, born biologically male, but I felt like I was a female since I was four, and had some early childhood sexual trauma that might be too deep to share for now. Fast forward to now, and I grew up a strong and confident man! At least... outwardly. In private, I'm still that little girl trying on my mom's clothes and wanting to play with dolls. Okay, not really, but I do enjoy gardening, cooking, reading, and playing video games... while wearing a dress. I'm not out, yet, but am planning to. It's tough, because first, I'm pansexual (I've been with men and women), so, I have to let that one out of the bag. Then, I'm either Transgender Female, Genderqueer, or Non-Binary, so... not knowing exactly what I am (categorically) will be just as tough. What worries me is due to my pansexuality, transitioning to female (while keeping my you-know-what), will alter who's attracted to me. For instance, looking like a masculine man, gay men and CIS women will date me (and whether they keep wanting to after I let them know my sexuality is another story). However, once I look like a feminine woman (how I want to look), then CIS men and lesbian women will date me... and having my you-know-what under the hood will probably freak them out. It feels like a lose-lose no matter what, lol. I don't have enough money to go through with a... orthodox transition, However, I have been on a high estrogen diet (flaxseed), with anti-androgens (red reishi and white peony), and am starting to feel small changes. You know, just to see? And I know, people will say, don't DIY for HRT, go to a doctor and get a prescription and all that jazz. Well, maybe, eventually. I'm just testing things out for now. Anyways, I'll see ya'll around!
Welcome to EC. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm not transgender and therefore don't know how to navigate the dating scene as a trans individual. However, as a student who has been studied LGBT+ healthcare, I need to tell you to avoid the DIY hormonal therapy. I don't want to be nag you and I have no right to do so. I just want you to know that some of the products you use can be super dangerous and even deadly. I know that during the pandemic you can't see a healthcare provider like before and I know that unlike Canada, the healthcare isn't free in the U.S. This is my advice, if you notice any issues please see a doctor/nurse practitioner/ nurse/ etc. I know that the american organization called Planned Parenthood has resources that address trans health. Try to contact them. If there are issues, don't just stop taking the meds because you don't know about withdrawal symptoms. See a professional. I wish you the very best. Please stay safe. Sorry for nagging.
Figuring out one's gender can be extremely confusing, even when you have a general idea. Fortunately there are places like EC with people who have been/ are still there. I don't think you necessarily have to come out as pan, too, but that's up to you. The issue of dating is a concern for me, too, but I'm afraid I have no insight there...
