So I'm gay, going to an all boys school. I already told some people but there are a lot of people who don't know. I'm pretty comfortable being out, however, I notice the word fag being thrown around a lot, so I've been a bit confused on how to come out. I know they aren't trying to be homophobic, but it's just a difficult thing to manage, coming out as gay, while everyone uses a homophobic word. I feel lost and I just really want to find a way to come out. Thanks!! - Sebastian
Hey Sebastian, The word only has power over you if you allow it to have that power. It's just a word. Most people will stop using it around you after you come out, especially those who don't mean any insult by it. They have been taught to use the word, similarly to "That's so gay!" that is used so often in schools, but if you don't see any particular malice by those using it, then you should just live your life and stop worrying about what other people think. I wish you luck and great success in school.
Hey Sebastian, I came out to friends and they still use the word fag. I don't let it bother me. If their you're friends they'll probably be respectful. People that aren't gay don't have the same perspective. That is still no excuse to use it and most respectable and intelligent people won't. (Except for my friends I guess, lol.) In most cases they don't even realize they are offending you I would think. However if they are directing it at you in a negative way, that is unacceptable and should be reported. I know how tough that would be though. Be brave and come out if you feel comfortable. If you just want to keep it between friends that's okay too. People should respect you for who you are. I'm sure there are many others at your school who are in the closet. You will be looked up to by them. Be confident about yourself. Hope I helped out a little. Good Luck!!!
Thanks for the replies! I'm planning on coming out to more people tomorrow. I just hope it doesn't trigger my anxiety and stuff. I don't usually let the word have power over me though, I just worry about their reaction.
Hello Sebastian! Welcome to EC! Does your school have a code of conduct or an anti-bullying policy to prevent racial, homophobic, etc hate speech? If so, perhaps you could talk to the school's administration about reemphasizing that policy all across the school so that students, such as yourself, are not made to feel unnecessarily uncomfortable. Just a thought.
