Hello I'm male in my 20's from Central Europe. I've been lurking around this forum for some time and only recently I found the courage to sign up. I'm currently questioning whether I'm gay or bi. I never ever really considered being something other than straight. The thing is, I am straight-looking, have many male (and almost none female) friends and enjoy what might be called "male" activities. Also, I'm from small town where LGBT is considered a taboo. From the young age, I've been dealing with OCD. I still struggle with it, but it's much better now. However, I attributed all gay thoughts and urges I had to OCD and hoped they will be "cured" along with OCD treatment. Only recently I started to think that maybe, they might mean something more. And, to be honest, that realization hit me hard. I started to hate myself and was ashamed of being fag. I became really sad and pesimistic about the future. My self-esteem dropped to zero (I guess this is how internalized homophobia looks like). Also, the OCD got worse. I started to have obsessions about being gay/straight or bi. After few months of apathy, I decided to do something about it. I'm now trying to move from self-hatred to more accepting state. I believe that when I accept the possibility of being gay, I will be able to move on and explore my sexuality further. I already found many valuable information and insights and I'm extremely grateful to all of you for creating a resource like this.
DrakePrincesd…..Hello and a big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent! ) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. As we have members from 13 years old and older, please keep that in mind as you make your posts. *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out, join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something”. When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. Only A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) and then only to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can send me a Private Message as you can always send a staff member a Private Message. …..David
DrakePrincesd.....I also suffer from OCD. I would caution you about making any serious decisions about your life until your OCD is under control. OCD basically lies to you, it makes you think things that are not true. OCD can be brought under control with the help of medication and therapy. The therapy gives you tools to use when the OCD gets difficult to handle. I take some meds and have worked with a therapist to control my OCD and it has made a huge difference for me!! The medications have not bothered me in any other way at all. It is really worth it to get the OCD under control so that you can make good decisions about your life! It's difficult enough to figure out your sexuality, but if you are fighting OCD at the same time, it becomes a very tough battle. .....David
Hi Thanks for kind words and advice! I already told to my therapist about it. We made a conclusion that I should try to accept and cope with the posiibility of being gay, to remove the fear and negative thoghts associated with it. I hope it will help. DP
