Hi, all! Some of you know me and some of you don't. I've been away from the site for a while now and thought I'd check in. WOW!! I am so excited to see this forum come to fruition!! I would like to post to everyone's threads but don't have time right now. I need to make a more concerted effort to check in on this site because it was a life saver for me! I will just say that it encourages and saddens me to see all of us (men and women) struggling to break free from the bondage of our circumstances. For those of you who haven't read my threads, here is a summary and an update. I pray it gives hope to those of you who yearn for it, comfort for those in the midst of it, and joy to those have lived through it. Here goes! I was married to a wonderful woman for 35 years. We married as "good Catholic" virgins in 1976. We have three wonderful children who are now in their upper 20s and lower 30s. Several years into our marriage, I stumbled upon gay sex and began to realize what I had in my live with my wife was not what it should be. I started frequenting adult bookstores and cruising public restrooms for, what I assumed, was sexual satisfaction. I started living two lives, both wracked by guilt. I hid it for many, many years until I ended up with the wrong guy and brought home a sexually transmitted parasite. I was pulled from the closet kicking and screaming! For three years I claimed bisexuality, we sought counseling, and I was a faithful husband - but not a happy one. My wife tried too, but ultimately our continuous thoughts of me being with men were painful for her because she couldn't shake images of my indiscretions and I couldn't help wanting to be in the arms of a man. In November 2011, she got me to admit I was gay. By March 2012 we were divorced. For the past year we've leaned to coexist as a divorced couple. I have made many mistakes in this year, but have learned from each one of them. I also went through a tremendous depression - caused by the trauma of moving into a condo, watching my ex continue to live in what had been our house, trying to get our kids to open up and include me fully in their lives, and standing by while my ex started a relationship with another man (I had been her one and only). I made great new gay friends, mostly by attending a local gay men's weekly social meetings. I also enjoyed openly exploring my sexuality, as well as my sensuality. since last summer, I've been with about 10 guys in (safe) sexual experiencesl Now to the present! For the past three weeks, I have been spending a lot of time with just one man - my boyfriend!! He's a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor, a passionate soul, a beautiful mind, and a lusty libido! I have no need or desire for anyone else - and he lives a block from me!! One year ago, I gathered my courage and embarked on a new life. One season ago, I was depressed to my core. One month ago, I felt happy with my life, but not fullfilled. One week ago, I told a man I love him! Who knows what one anything from now will bring! But I want you all to know that for all the pain and suffering I endured because of my fear of the unknown, I now am experiencing some of the greatest joy! I wish that for all of you! Much love and many hugs, 55
Wow, that's great. It's great to read your latest news and that things are good. I'm really happy for you. I too have been a bit neglectful of EC, so should do something about that (and the 'local group' seems kinda quiet these days).... Hugs, Tom
OK, I wasn't going to shed a tear today, but alas! This is so beautiful, may we all have what you've found!
Wow, it's really great to hear what's transpired for you in such a short time. I remember some of your posts from a year or so ago... you've come so far! THanks for coming by and posting, and if you have more time to post to provide inspiration and support to others... I know they'd benefit significantly!
So great to hear! Thanks for the update, and congratulations on the new relationship. Not long after I met my husband, who also had been in a straight marriage and with kids, he gave me a small plaque that captured how we both were feeling at the time, and I put what it said in my signature here. It's so true. I'm thankful for what I've become and what I've found and what I have. I thankful that you've found happiness as well.
Wow! Where you're at in life is great -- beyond great!! Your roller coaster of emotions, depression, tough... you made it past that. And your openness to learn about your sexuality is fantastic. I hope my story is similar -- that's my goal.
Wow 55! It's SO good to read this! I haven't been around much for a while either - trying to get my life sorted out, too - it's going pretty well actually, too - might write an update of my own soon. But seriously, you were good to me when I first posted, last year, afraid and confused at the beginning of my journey. Your advice, from the very start, and support at that time, meant a lot to me. SO brilliant to hear that things are working out for you now!! :eusa_clap GOOD LUCK to you and your boyfriend!!!!! Enjoy each other :eusa_danc Bluebird
