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Here we go again

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by IndiaB, Apr 21, 2020.

  1. IndiaB

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2017
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    First of all, I never thought I'd be back here after a couple YEARS. A little background, first time I thought I might not be straight I was in 5th grade, and it was nothing more than "well being with another girl doesnt sound BAD". Then I kinda had a couple phases of intense questioning during middle school for whether I was bi or gay. To some close friends it was just accepted that I was bi, but the label always made me a little uncomfortable so when I got to high school I shoved it deep down inside said I was straight and went happily on with my life, never thinking about it. Now I have a boyfriend and I said something about mila kunis and how I had the biggest crush on her as a kid. I thought I was allowed to say that without suspicion, but then and there he said "omg are you bi" and I just kinda said yeah. Now my bf brings up my attraction in women casually, so I've had no choice but to have it constantly resurfaced in my mind. Of course I'm in high school so it's hard to recognize love, I can tell I really like my bf, but I dont have deep feelings for him. I always thought the fact that I've never been upset over a guy was that I was just a bad ass chick, but now I see that might not be the case.
    The big red flag for me was that yesterday I was walking home with a friend, Anna. Anna's openly lesbian friend, Maria, happens to drive by and offers us a ride home. I dont know if it's just a psychological thing, but I was instantly very attracted to her.
    What do you guys think? What do I do about my bf? I deeply care for him as you would a close friend, I don't want to hurt or leave him, I even enjoy having sex with him, but I dont have the deep emotions I can tell he has for me. Could it just be that hes not the right one? Or have I officially hopped on the gay train
     
  2. Laurennnn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2020
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    wOoWoO wElCoMe To BeInG bIsExUaL
    well maybe not actually, who the hell knows these days
    Okay, so first of all hi
    Ur the like the only other teen I've seen on here but I'm like a baby sooooo
    Okay, so let's get right into it shall we? It sounds like you're confused about feeling attracted to that girl, embarassed about feeling attracted to that girl, confused about not feeling as deep of an emotional bond to ur bf as he is feeling to you, and also sad about it because you don't want to hurt him. Well, I think you're telling yourself the right things, that you care for him but maybe not as strongly as you think you would of someone you'd been dating for a while. That's good! I think you're right, it would be hard to break up with him because of your changing sexuality, but he sounds like he really cares about you and wants the best for you. Maybe you should talk to him about these feelings - beyond just being kinda bi there might be a bit deeper digging to do. I mean, he might just not be the right one for you if you don't have deep feelings for him, but it sounds kinda like you've chopped yourself in half and thrown one half of yourself onto the gay train. Maybe you could figure it out by experimenting. That would mean, though, that you'd have to break up with him - and that would be hard. But then again, breakups always are, and it would help you figure out your sexuality!
    Idk those r just my thoughts. Hope they were helpful :slight_smile: