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Help- In the closet I think?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by bigurl, Oct 19, 2016.

  1. bigurl

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    Some people
    I'm 14 and I'm pretty sure I'm Bi. I've always liked guys, and always thought I was straight. In retrospect, I think I thought girls were cute, but never liked them. When I was 12 I met this girl and we became best friends. I developed a crush on her. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I swear I was in love. Is that way too young to be in love? When we stopped being friends, I was super upset. It took me a year to get over it.

    One day I was watching The L Word randomly and started liking Shane. That led me to question everything. After six months of brutal questioning, I was confident I had everything figured out.

    I'm super girly so I don't really feel like I fit a queer stereotype.But, now I'm staring to like guys again, and girls were less attractive then they were a few months ago per se. I've heard this is normal of a bi person to go through stages of one gender to the next. I still think girls a a little cute, but not as much as a few months ago when I strictly liked girls.

    I'm super lost. Am I Bi, straight, or maybe I'm even gay?- Because when I do like girls, I'm confident talking to them, and my love is stronger. Unlike guys where it's more of an I like you- You like me thing.

    I'm lost, so thanks for listening to my rant.
     
    #1 bigurl, Oct 19, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2016
  2. 3n

    3n Guest

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    What's the rush for a label? Maybe it could provide some clarity and be easy to explain, but you don't need to restrict yourself so quickly. Just relax a bit, and eventually you'll figure everything out :grin:
     
  3. ABeautifulMind

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    completely normal to have the attractions change fluidly when your younger... It happens when your older too, but not as much or as severe... in my experience at least...

    I remember when I had my first gay crush, crushes can DEFINITELY cause some SERIOUS confusion lol... Especially when you have a couple times where subsequent crushes alternate genders... Try having a crush on a boy, then a girl before you even move on from the boy crush... I think bisexuals probably have the most frequent bouts of confusion... Its one thing to grow up thinking your straight and then have a crush on a boy and slowly realize you like guys... Its a whole new level of confusion when you finally admit to yourself that you are gay only to develop a serous crush on the opposite gender... That happens to anyone a few times it is bound to confuse them...

    I think the best piece of advice for you is to just relax and enjoy life... You are only 14, there is no need to figure it all out at once... If you like boys right now, go have fun with boys... if you like girls right now, have fun with girls... There really isnt a need for you to find your label this young...
     
  4. beewolf

    Regular Member

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    When I was figuring things out, a friend of mine told me to not bother with labels for awhile, and to just do what I felt was right for me. If you have a girl crush one day and a boy crush the next, that's fine. I think because of your age you might have hormones fluctuating and all that, and that could affect who you find attractive. Just let it happen; there will be times for labels later.