Help for my sweet son

You are such a good mom. It's wonderful that you understand and respect his privacy. You are doing nothing wrong. You just need to give him some space and privacy and if he is gay, then you should be patient and wait until he is comfortable with telling you. You sound so comforting and caring. He is very lucky for a wonderful mother such as you.

 

When I first came into the LGBT community I felt really scared and sad and I thought all my friends would leave me and my parents would hate me. Most people would say it's bad to give your kid the "we love you no matter what" talk but if my parents gave it to me, I would have been so happy and so much more relieved. Instead I got the "lesbian is a grown-up word and you shouldn't use it" argument and that did not help me but after that my mom bought me a cupcake and gave me the "we love you no matter what" talk. Basically, what I'm saying is it's a good idea to take the attention off of the porn. To be honest, it's a human body he has a body of his own. Maybe he's not gay and he just wants to know what his body looks like! It's ok to look at human bodies. There's nothing wrong with it. (My parents caught me looking at and drawing female porn when I was 11 years old, but instead of saying how it's a grown-up thing to like looking at the human anatomy, my mom told me how it's just anatomy. Nothin' wrong with it.) And make sure he knows you love him. But not more than his bio mom. You just love him. To you, she doesn't even exist. That's my advice. You can't really stop his bio mom and stepdad from being jerks but you can show him that what they're doing is not right and that you love him. I'm really tired so this is probably just mindless babbling but I hope it made some sense. You sound like a really good mom and a really good person. Thanks for reading!

 

You should stop selling yourself short. I am one of those people who would kill to have a mom like you. I remember my mom one time when I had been planning to tell my mom I was bi, after the convo started she wound up saying, she thought I was gay when I was a little younger and she was so worried, she didnt know what she would ever do if her son was gay. I walked away.

Needless to say, I think your awesome. I also had a few ideas for you and your son:

when you eventually talk to him, make sure you keep up the lack of label. He may have been looking at what guys look like, and actually be straight, though I really doubt that by everything I read.

Keep up the kill level kindness, but if he doesnt start the convo with you, you might consider dropping hints that you want to talk when he is ready, not just that you are willing to, but want to.

As for the porn issue, well, lcome to parenthood If you try and keep him from it, he will probably want it more, and if you do nothing, it may increase in "habit" lol. But this is nothing I think you will have trouble with.

If you dont mind me asking, what are your other kiddos like? I think if any other were LGBT it would have been mentioned, but are they in a similar age group? Are they homophobic or accepting? Sorry if you already said and I just missed it... But I think his siblings could also be valuable assets. Family is important, usually.