Hi, I'm here because in short, I don't want to screw up. My teenage son has been looking at gay porn, and while at 14 I have concerns about what he is viewing, it's from the standpoint of porn, not that he is watching men. I could never love my child one ounce less, not over gender or sexuality, not over anything that might pertain to his identifying as gay, bi, straight. I just love all my kids. Always. It's tricky though, because we are a Brady Bunch blended family. His, mine, ours. My amazing husband and I have been together over a decade, and the child in question was from his first short marriage. I'm not the biological mama, but I've been in this child's life since he was toddling, before he knew his ABCs, and he calls me mom of his own accord. He is loved as much as if I'd given birth to him, and I'd die to protect him, no questions asked. He lives with us most of the week. Yesterday my spouse got a voice mail message from his ex wife (child's bio mom) and she was kinda bonkers, very upset, told my spouse that this child was in huge trouble and it was an emergency. We of course were afraid he'd been in an accident. Turns out she and her husband (stepfather to wonderful son) caught wonderful son with male/male porn. And they freaked. They really freaked. They basically think he's some deviant and is awful. She said this wasn't the first time they'd caught him and so clearly he "can't stop" looking at nude men. Her husband (sons stepfather) feels uncomfortable with son around. First off...my heart breaks because this son at fourteen is so shy and introverted. He's tender, and loves books and is an amazing student. He is helpful, kind to his brothers and sister and helps around the house with no fuss. He didn't deserve to be lambasted in front of his stepdad over such a personal thing. No one deserves that. I feel a person's intimate feelings are sacred, and not to be flounced about heartlessly. He isn't a danger, omg, especially to a stepfather twice his size. Ugh. So I'm trying to make sure he is first off, as ok as I can help him to be. I know he is utterly mortified. My spouse spoke to sweet son in the car just now. Son is shut down and quiet. I hate this... I hate when any of these amazing kids we have hurt. I have always wanted to be a mom, and I got that wish. I love being a stay at home mom for our big tribe of wonderful and loving kids. I so so wish we, not his bio mom and stepfather had found the porn. I'd have gently approached it so he'd feel safe, like he could speak about it and it would be in a safe place, where questions about sex and puberty were not ridiculed. Alas. So I'm really hoping someone here can help me to help my baby. He's fourteen and he means the world to us. What can we do to help him? I don't know if he is bi or gay or curious. Doesn't matter really, in the sense we love him no matter what. I just want him safe and secure in who he really is. All I ever want for my five beautiful babies is happiness. I went through my first marriage and it was really hard, abusive and controlling. I know what it is to feel diminished and inadequate. I would hate for my kids to feel that...and right now I really think he IS feeling that and worse. So any advice, stories...heck anything at this point that can guide me as a mama. In my heart I think this son may well be homosexual, but I don't have the right to label anyone, and am just looking for the ways I can ease the burden of the tough journey being a teenager is. My spouse feels the same. We just want all our kids to not worry one minute about our total and complete love for our family. And while I'd never ever say it aloud, I sorta wanna kick his bio mom, how could anyone use such a thing to humiliate a young man? It's so cruel.