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help ah

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Migrainiac, May 20, 2020.

  1. Migrainiac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2020
    Messages:
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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    so i told some of my friends that i was gender-fluid. a little while later i realize that i'm probably not. my gender confuses me but i identify as a girl.
    how do i un-come out to them? i love them, but it embarrasses me to think about how i was wrong. i know that i am asexual but that is not a big deal to me, i don't really care who knows.
    but yeah, i need help. so how do i un-come out? tell them i was wrong? i can't bear thinking about it but i can't leave them thinking i'm gender-fluid. when i embarrass myself badly, like this situation for instance, i tend to try to cut myself off with those who know about it, but i can't now because i love these friends so much.
    if it were my family, i wouldn't care and they wouldn't either. but that's not the case.
     
  2. Hats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    383
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    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    If it feels easier you could tell them that you don't feel the label of genderfluid is correct anymore, but that you're still questioning your gender. That way it leaves the door open to changing your label in the future without forcing yourself back into the cis box in the meantime.
     
  3. Migrainiac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2020
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    thank you:slight_smile:
    i've been stressing a lot about it lately but my schoolwork has kept me occupied.
     
  4. solarcat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    214
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    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Family only
    If they were accepting when they thought you were genderfluid, then I would hope they'd be accepting if you tell them you're not. Maybe tell them that you're not really sure what you are and that you're still trying to figure things out.