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Hello

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by shirohero, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. shirohero

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello. I realized I was bisexual about a year ago now. It took me a while to accept it but I think I’m okay with it now. I’ve always noticed women’s bodies and as a child I can remember always hyper-focusing on really pretty women in movies and TV. It wasn’t that I wanted to be them, it was just I thought their bodies were amazing. I thought that was what all straight people did but as I got older I realized my friends didn’t view women in the same way. I finally realized I was bi when one of my best friends started dating a guy. I hid it well but I felt really jealous and I didn’t understand why. I tried to stop feeling that way but it kept coming. I thought it was because I wanted a boyfriend. I can remember very vividly being in the park walking my dog, and realizing that I wasn’t jealous because I wanted a boyfriend. I was jealous because I wanted to be her girlfriend.

    I really freaked out and went through a very long period of being convinced I was faking it and being a special snowflake and I just wanted attention. But eventually I realized that I think I’ve always known I’ve never been straight. When I was younger I would just assume I was straight because that’s what everyone did. But I think there was always something in the back of my mind saying I wasn’t the same as any other straight person I knew.

    I still have times where I think I’m just faking being bisexual because I want attention. Sometimes I test myself by looking at pictures of men and women and checking I’m still attracted to both. I keep having to remind myself that I’m not attracted to every man I meet, and so it’s unreasonable to expect to be attracted to every women I meet too to ‘prove myself’ as bisexual. I’m still trying to work out if I have a preference for men or women. I think it might change a lot. Some weeks I’m more interested in men and not interested in women at all. The next week I’m more interested in women and not interested in men at all. The week after I could be interested in both kind of equally. And sometimes I’m not interested in either and just like ‘I’m fine being single.’

    Anyway I guess I’m here not because I need validation for my own bisexuality but so I can hopefully help other people. Hi.
     
  2. Hanyauku

    Regular Member

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    Not out at all
    Hey Shirohero! Welcome to EC. I'm new here, too. I related a lot to your post, even though I'm not bisexual. But I just think a lot of people who are figuring out they are LGBT go through the same thoughts, regardless of how they identify. Like "am I faking it", or testing yourself to "prove" your orientation or gender identity. When I was younger and figuring out my attraction to men, I thought all the time that I was faking it, or just being trendy. If I didn't see a lot a guys that I found attractive throughout my day then I would question my orientation. But like you said, over time you grow more comfortable in who you are. I'm still working on that with my gender, but hopefully I'll figure that out, too. Anyway, good luck in your journey!
     
  3. Annyourhoe

    Regular Member

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    Hey! I’m Ann, and i was just in that situation like 3 months ago. My friend and i would talk everyday, and i started to feel different, like something changed in our relationship, at least that’s how i felt. The day after I realized, she told me (with no intentions of hurting me, because she doesn’t know I’m bi) that she liked a boy in her class, and i told her I was happy for her, but i was actually really jealous. At first I thought it was because “she wouldn’t pay any more attention to me”, but i knew that it was because i liked her. That’s just how i realized i was bisexual, i feel equally attracted to boys and girls, and I’m not ashamed of it.
     
  4. BothWaysSecret

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Welcome shirohero! I went through the exact same thing when I first found out too. I still do it sometimes now as well.
     
  5. becKEY0011

    Regular Member Away

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    Location:
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    Hey there! Pretty much in the same situation and I am glad u reached the realization, and happy.