Hiya everyone! My name's Jessie and I'm 16 years old from Aussie I'm neurodiverse (high functioning autism + ADD) and love reading, creating art and blasting music i can relate to. I guess I'm here because I've been reallyyy uncertain about my gender and stuff lately and want to learn more, hear about others experiences and connect with people who understand. I was born a female but lately I've realised that I don't really think I identify as a female. Or a male... I mean, I kind of do?? But I feel like I'm not one or the other but I'm kind of floating somewhere in between. Or not in between at all. If that makes sense? I just am unsure. For most of my life I've dressed in girls clothes, had long hair for quite a while, but I guess it never felt completely right...but I didn't actually realise how it DIDN'T feel right until recently. I feel most comfortable and happy with myself when I'm wearing gender neutral clothing and my chest looks flat and when I don't look girly or super guy-ey but I just look like I'm somewhere in-between (though leaning slightly more towards guy). It just feels right. I want to look in the guys clothing section much more when I shop because it's more neutral and appeals to me way more and i quite love it. But I'm scared what people will think, I'm scared because physically I'm a girl but I don't know if I really am. I don't want them to judge me or whisper, but I just want to be myself SO MUCH. I've decided that I'm going to wear a suit with a bow tie to the school formal next year...I feel comfortable when I'm dressed like that - tried my dad's suit on the other day while parents were out and it just felt SO right. While all the girls in my year are getting excited over skimpy dresses and dates...I freak out over every dress and get pumped and over the moon when I see a cool suit online! I think i may possibly be non-binary but I'm not sure....I've got this strange possibly stupid fear that I'll tell everyone that I am non-binary and then I realise i'm not and embarrass the crap out of myself!.....I also overthink things a bit too. I'm just trying to read and learn more and figure things out. Hopefully I can. And that's why i'm here! Nice to meet y'all
Nice to meet you and also on the gender thing, just go with what feels right. if you need more time before telling others, that's totally fine! it took me awhile before i came out to my friends and my mom (which i don't speak to anymore because of family stuff) but take your time! think it through and make sure you know what you want to present as. I've known i was trans for awhile now and sometimes i get little bumps in the road wondering if i really am or not like you are going through so you're just fine! much love ~
