Hello to all of you, I look forward to talking with you all and seeing where I can go with things.. I am not out and am looking for support.. I look forward to chatting with you guys.. I am gay... It is not something I say often in my current surroundings, so I am glad to have a forum to discuss details.. TYVM TTYL
Hello and welcome.. I to, am new here and have excellent feedback on my posts and questions..Hope to chat with you some time..(&&&) (&&&) (&&&)
Re: how has EC, friends, etc. been helpful to you in dealing with being gay? :smilewave Welcome to the board, Will1975! This really is a great community; glad you found it. (&&&) As a late bloomer, have you been previously married to a woman, or have you always been single and have never really known for sure if you were attracted to guys or girls (or both)? I'm just curious. For me, I'm one of the earlier bloomers in the group (I've known eversince I was about 6 or even 5!!:eek. At least I had a suspicion of feeling different.
Re: how has EC, friends, etc. been helpful to you in dealing with being gay? In response ot LowestVocal017- I have been married to a woman in the past, that ended in divorce. I have known since about age 14 that I was gay.. but I wasn't allowed to experience that.. Surroundings and expectations kind of led me.. I have been taught since I was very young that being gay was not okay.. what I mean by that is my families attitudes towards being gay are somewhat biggoted... I grew up with terms like "faggot" and "queers" used in very derogatory ways.. You can probably imagine all of that in the mind of a 14 year old.. Maybe I will start a thread on that subject.. Anyways, now I need to realize that being gay is not what I was taught as a child.. Well I am working it out... With help from you guys on here.. Yes I am gay... TYVM
Re: how has EC, friends, etc. been helpful to you in dealing with being gay? Yeah, I can imagine the hardache. There are many people out there who have been in the same position. Were your family members religious to have caused their attitudes to be this way? Did you personally feel that 'being gay' was wrong during your supression period? Sadly, a lot of people don't really even know what "gay" is out of the context of traditional stereotypes and stereotypical jokes (It's 2007, for heaven's sake!). Also, to a lot of the minds of these people, gay is something you do and not something you are. Is this how your family view homosexuality (or at least viewed in the past)? If so, perhaps you'd be interested in a little assignment in educating your family about the lies in the 'gay myths'. This is just a suggestion. There are many books written on the subject, but one book that I have in mind is entitled, Is It a Choice?, written by Eric Marcus. In it, there are a lot of commonly and not so commonly asked questions by all kinds of people that Marcus in my oppinion addresses well. It may help clear up some of the perceptions your family members have of homosexuality, whatever they might be. Again, this is just a suggestion. If anything is hurtful to you because of what your family or anyone else says or does, rest assure there are places you can go to for help like pflag.com and books you can read like Is It a Choice?, and rest assured things will clear up and life becomes better. My optimistic assurance to you, a late bloomer.
Hiya Will and welcome to EC a big well done though for taking the first steps to outing yourself (although i'm sorry to hear about the failed marriage). Remember though.. a problem shared is a problem halved... look forward to speaking more soon. Jamie x