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He wants a PS4 and to be left alone for 6 months

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SuperMagnetic1, Nov 10, 2015.

  1. SuperMagnetic1

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    Hey guys. This is my first post here. So I met a guy about 7 months ago and we ended up going on several dates but I became clingy and depressed so I started bugging him alot. He wanted me to leave him alone and I told him that I was depressed and I was thinking about suicide. We stopped talking for quite a bit of time but I drunk called him a couple of times and cried about how much I wanted for him to be in my life. He insisted that I was being selfish and that I should put something into the relationship.

    I offered to get him the ps4 and leave him alone for 6 months so that we could have another chance. At first, he didn't even want it cause I was being annoying but lately he told me that he would see if I changed and things may change. He hates the fact that I just say things out and cant keep my words. I can't imagine being apart from him for 6 months. I told him that I don't want to be alone for christmas and he told me that he didn't care. I really like him and I know that he's a good person. I did piss him off but he did state before that he wasn't sexually attracted to me. I'm wondering if I should just move on or hope for the best.
     
  2. Steve FS

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    To put it simply, I highly recommend that you move on.

    There's absolutely nothing you can do in this situation, I'm sorry to say. He's not attracted to you, so trying to create a relationship from this isn't going to get you anywhere. He is also getting quite upset.

    For now, I highly recommend that you meditate on this for a bit and see what it is that is making you want him so badly. It's unhealthy to be co-dependent on a person, especially someone that made it clear that they don't want you. Is it companionship you want? Is it because you don't want to be alone (as you mentioned)? Is it something else?

    Before you can get into a relationship, you have to make yourself "whole" first. I feel like you're using him as a way to fill a void within yourself. You don't need another guy to be yourself, and you definitely don't need someone who doesn't love you back.

    Think on that. I wish you the best of luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. RawringSnake

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    My god, this is such a toxic relationship. By the sound of it, this has been over for a while now and I don't think a PS4 is gonna fix that (or anything for that matter).

    I know you are feeling like shit and we don't like the idea of feeling like shit by ourselves (which is what pushes us to do desperate things like what you described above), but trying to hold on to someone that doesn't want you just because you don't wanna be alone is gonna end up hurting you more in the long run. No company is better than bad company. He is just aggravating the situation. Let it go. Find someone* who will offer you his/her shoulder to cry on, not someone who will extort you for it.

    *: And by that I mean friends. I don't think it would be healthy for you to seek a romantic relationship in this state. It's just gonna end up devolving into a co-dependent affair like stevefs mentioned.
     
    #3 RawringSnake, Nov 10, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2015
  4. Austin

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    Move on.
     
  5. Yosia

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    Well, Fallout 4 did just come out...

    Was this a bit insensitive? Sorry.
     
    #5 Yosia, Nov 11, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2015
  6. Maddy

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    He's not interested, and the more you push him, the less interested he'll be. He's actively annoyed and frustrated with you. There's nothing left there. Block him, delete his number, and put that time and energy into working on your self-esteem.
     
  7. kageshiro

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    Theres not even anything worth playing on the PS4; his taste is mediocre and he's treating you like garbage. Forget about him and move on so that you can find something worthwhile with someone affectionate and patient and sympathetic like a real boyfriend would be.
     
  8. justin88

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    Yes! I agree with this!
     
  9. HuskyPup

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    Hey there, OP-

    I can understand where you'd feel hurt and alone, that's certainly never easy. But I also think it is time to move on. There's a lot of other guys out there, and it seems like it will only make you more sad to keep bargaining for a person who isn't interested in you in the same way. I think making deals involving gifts and time away is not a good idea; I'd use the energy to get out, and look for somebody new. May not be easy, but I think you'll be happier in the long run.
     
  10. Vesta

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    What I'm about to say here isn't intended to come off negatively but I see both sides of the fence here. He'd already asked you to leave him alone and you chose not to respect his wishes. I get that you're feeling depressed and suicidal, that you want to spend time with him so that you're not feeling alone but badgering him to spend time with you isn't going to fix the situation. I've been in a similar situation where my boyfriend refused to listen to me when I stated I needed some space while I concentrated on my college studies (I was at college at the time) but because, as he put it, he didn't want to lose me, he kept trying to find ways of spending time with me. He'd text me several times each day, he'd message me on Facebook constantly, he'd go as far as to Like any Facebook pictures I was in. No matter how many times I'd told him I needed some space he refused to listen and to a point it is selfish because he was only thinking of himself and not the other person. He never thought of how it was making me feel. He made me feel suffocated and in the end I became so depressed because of how unhappy he made me feel I couldn't bear to be with him anymore and so we split.

    I really understand that you've been feeling depressed, suicidal and don't want to be alone for Christmas but there are other ways to resolve this than to keep trying to be with someone who is clearly no longer interested. For both yours and his sake, move on. I understand that it's hard to move on due to the fear of loneliness but remember there are so many other people in the world both offline and online. Don't be afraid to try and get help for your depression either. See if you can look for some resources online that may help you cope with your depressive and suicidal feelings. See if there's anything in your local area you can look into and if things get really bad, don' be afraid to phone a suicide hotline, they're there to help. :slight_smile: