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Having trouble coming out to the rest of my family.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sevan, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. Sevan

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    By 'the rest of my family', I mean the entirety of my father's side. Allow me to give you some background.

    My parents divorced when I was young and barely talk, but I see them both. They live fairly close together. A couple of months back I came out to my older brother, and then to my mom. Since then, I've been working on getting myself together, and this has caused a lot of communication between my parents, which isn't a bad thing. Except I haven't come out to my dad and my mom keeps inadvertently dropping hints that something is going on, which stresses me out immensely.

    I'm not really afraid of my dad's reaction. In the past, when I came out for my sexuality, he promised me that he only wants what will make me happy in life, no matter what that is. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's not done enough to support me in the past.

    Anyway, I know my dad is okay with it. But I can't bring myself to tell him because it's still the scariest thing in the world and because my family on his side is a little bit... Narrow minded. And on top of that, it's close knit. So I know the hint of news would spread like wildfire and the last thing I need or want is my grandparents making some histrionic fight about who I am.

    Point is, I want to come out to my dad, but I'm scared of familial backlash. Any advice? :eusa_doh:
     
  2. Monraffe

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    This is a classic problem - deciding if getting what you want is worth having to deal with the consequences. Like Peter Rabbit who takes a chance to sneak into Mr. McGregor's vegetable garden and eats so much he can't fit back under the fence to escape! I think you should do it. Why? Because it's fun!
     
  3. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! If you know that your dad is going to be accepting and supportive, that's what really matters. Even if some of the extended family on your dad's side is somewhat narrow minded thus far, it is possible with your dad's support, some might come around or be indeed accepting.

    If you are concerned about their reaction, maybe ask your dad to keep it to himself for now, and let him know that you would like to let everyone else know once you feel ready. :slight_smile: