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Having a really difficult time with my family.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Gnozpar, Dec 21, 2014.

  1. Gnozpar

    Regular Member

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    Ill go to the point, I'm bisexual.

    Right now, things have been very difficult with my life, Im a very nervous person, Im bitting my nails, bitting my skin, Making my bones sound, Shaking like crazy... And I'm 17..

    I confessed I was bisexual to my mother some months ago, my mother panicked, I kept telling her that I was sorry, that I shouldnt have brought it up, and she kept telling me that it isnt my fault, that it's just a phase, with tears in her face and mine, we kept this a secret, even today, when I think about it, I whisper that I am sorry without even realizing.

    These latest days, I have difficulty trusting anyone in my family, my mom, that was the person I could trust the most, collapsed at the thought that I was bi, just imagining how my strict brother or granny would react makes me feel dizzy, they are all homophobics. I find myself screaming at everyone in my family, I keep getting angry at jokes they make, I dont want to, I just can't trust them enough to realize that those were jokes at that moment and not insults.

    I just feel like my life is going down, no matter what I do, if I tell them Ill fall faster, to be considered not of any worth by my whole family, if I dont tell them, Ill just be an asshole that nobody will like in their life.

    I cant leave my family, not only do I love them, I'm living in the USA with an student's VISA, and I can't bring myself to live in a country where there isn't progress at all to make something out of my life.

    I just don't know what to do, I feel very sad, very alone...
     
  2. OOC73

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    Well you have totally come to the right place because you aren't alone any more. There is a great deal of help and support to be had within these walls and you don't need to be sad or alone, you can be yourself and relax.

    Ok. So, family. You don't get to choose them, unfortunately. Sometimes people get lucky and have great parents, other times they don't. You don't get your parents on a pre-approval scheme - they just are who they are. Flawed humans. Same as the rest of us.

    What you will get to do however, is form a family of friends. People who you trust and love, who you can entirely be yourself with, and who will not judge you or view you as anything other than the amazing openly bi man you are becoming.

    And here is a wonderful place to start. So welcome, be you. xx
     
  3. jess1531

    Regular Member

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    You know, its hard. It really is. Wishing people could just view it as normal...i know how it makes a person feel, hell we all do. But honestly you seem to be quite strong!! I think most of us can say that we are going through similar situations. Your's seems to be close to mine though. I am quite afraid to tell my family because they are a big family, strict, seem homophobic so i get it its hard! but honestly sometimes we just have to go ahead and say something! because once we get it out we feel better, even if it starts off as awkward we have to remind ourselves its only going to get better, and that the people that really love us and care for us will support us no matter what! keep your head high and do what you feel most comfortable doing. Because honestly I'm not gonna lie i haven't even told my family...maybe i should take my own advice.
    Good luck in this all and i really hope that you can get through it! i know you can!(*hug*)
     
  4. shadowraptor

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    I really feel for you, Gnozpar. Unfortunately, like OOC73 said, you're born into your family just like you're born with brown hair or green eyes, the same way you're born into your sexuality. And that's something you can't change. Luckily you've come here, and we'll always be here and happy to help.

    I'm really sorry that your family, that you obviously have a deep emotional connection with, is not as accepting and supporting as you wish they were. But you're not the only one, there are lots of others who have gone through the same (and worse) and lived through it. My question to you, though, is if you have any other friends or relatives that you could trust or confide in? Maybe someone at school that you could talk to would be able to relate and help you out.

    Good luck, you can do it! (*hug*)
     
  5. WhiteShadows

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    :frowning2:
    I'm sorry to hear that this is so hard for you. (*hug*)

    Here everyone will try to help you.

    Are there any LGBT youth groups in your area you can go to?