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Have you/would you come out on Facebook?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by dirtyshirt84, Jun 3, 2016.

  1. dirtyshirt84

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    Just wondering if anyone is thinking about coming out or actually has come out on Facebook (or other social media)?

    If you have were the reactions what you expected? Were they mostly positive? What did you say?

    Some days I think about doing it as the most important people in my life know so it would be an easy way to tell less close friends/acquintancies/people I went to school with that I don't even want to be friends with/randoms I met travelling years ago :wink:

    But I do worry there are still some people in my life that deserve to be told face to face.

    Since I started accepting my sexuality more and letting go of shame I like a lot more LGBT stuff, a lot of feminist stuff (I probably would have done that before) and even some women celebrities who I think are cute so maybe won't come as a huge shock :slight_smile:

    Just curious to hear people's experiences?
     
  2. Randy

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    I know of one person who did through posting a status. He was greeted with comments of support and acceptance.

    I did through commenting on one of my friend's Facebook post in a rather comical way. I will never forget that day haha. They took it well, it was exactly what I expected.

    The majority of my friends are accepting of LGBT people...it's just that I have a handful of friend's who I'm not sure how they will take it so I just decided I don't think I will ever publicly come out on FB i.e., make a status about it and such.
     
    #2 Randy, Jun 3, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2016
  3. CameOutSwinging

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    I've thought of handling this two ways. One, just waiting until I have a boyfriend and once I'm posting pictures of us and being all FB official, well it should be obvious.

    Second way is once my girl and I break up officially, suspending my FB account for a few months, only to come back and post "Remember that time I disappeared from FB and then came back gayer than an original cast recording of Rent? Hiiiiii!"
     
  4. Adray

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    I haven't yet.

    I plan to come out on FB, after I've finished coming out to family and others on my list.

    My goal is to be FB Out before or on Bi Pride Day this September. Hopefully....
     
  5. Quist

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    I don't have an actual Face Book account with my family and local friends because there isn't really any way I could be me without tons of drama from both.

    I do have a shill account with a false name that I use to keep in contact with friends I met on the internet who I can be myself with.
     
  6. RosePetals76

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    I haven't exactly, but after telling the most important people, I started liking more LGBT things and such. I haven't heard any real comments.
     
  7. Katchoo

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    Ive considered culling people I dont care about and concervatively mean people from my friends list to make this feel better when I want to do this. Im not ready yet, though. I would really like to feel free to comment on posts of pretty ladies and not feel weird about marking that I am going to burlesque events or queer events.
     
  8. TheStormInside

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    I would love to come out on facebook, or just simply be open without worry. Unfortunately I have a lot of conservative Catholic relatives on facebook that I can't unfriend, and I'm not ready to contend with just yet.
     
  9. baristajedi

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    In FB speak, "it's complicated".

    I think that now I could have the confidence to come out on FB, but I don't know that it matters to me a lot to directly come out to my FB friends. What does matter to me though, is that I really don't want to censor myself or "hide" my orientation. So feeling free to post things that indicate that I'm queer is something I want. Basically just being myself.

    The stumbling block for me is - im still married, and all of my husband's family and all of his colleagues are my FB friends.

    So I'm trying to figure out how to address that. This is not something I've been all that upset about, it's low priority at this point, but I do want to come to some comfortable place where I can post completely freely but still respect my husband's privacy and his feelings.
     
    #9 baristajedi, Jun 3, 2016
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  10. YeahpIdk

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    I haven't come out on social media yet, but I do things that could hint at me not being straight, like following and liking things from the page Lizzy the Lezzy. Do you follow that page? It's so good, and once I was a top comment! Internet fame!! Hahaha.

    I don't think it's important to actually come out on social media, for myself, so I'm not sure I will ever click the "interested in women" thing, or formally announce it in a status to make sure everyone in my world knows. However, when I do have a girlfriend, I will probably do something with humor to come out and put a picture of us up if that's ever the case. It would have to be a pretty serious relationship for it, though. That's in regard to anyone or any gender I'd ever date. So when that time comes, I may put something up with the pic that's like, "hey friends, I'm gay, if you don't like it, go away!" I'd do something dumb like that, lol. And that's all I feel I'd need, because I don't really care what other people will think.

    On my Twitter is where a lot of my gay shows, and a teeny tiny amount of my family is on there, so whoops. In some respect, I hope they don't get curious, in others, I don't care. Kind of like dropping little seeds for when the time may come.
     
  11. YeahpIdk

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    Also, please use this.

    I mean maybe don't. It just makes me laugh so much.
     
  12. Flatulentius

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    I haven't come out on FB, and have no immediate plans to do so. But if I did, and wanted to come out cryptically, I could do worse than to borrow the Rammstein lyrics "Mein Verlangen ist bemannt!" (because life is often loud and confusing)
     
  13. Bunny45

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    Still my plan, surprisingly my therapist seemed to be cautious about coming out on facebook. I asked her why and she said there are a lot of lurkers on Facebook. Honestly I think she doesn't really get social media though, she's got to be getting close to 70. She's going to see it differently than I do, she spent most of her life without the internet where I came of age at its glorious beginning. Seems more like a real place to me, although I know that's not true for everyone. I think the major advantage of comeing out on Facebook is that it's not private. I expect some bad reactions from cousins, and some small town west tx additudes. Not being isolated in a place with them when I tell them makes me feel safer, and I think most will dial back from what they might say in private when they know other people are reading thier words. The disadvantage is it's not private, if your a person who is deeply bothered by someone saying nasty things in public, Facebook might not be the best choice. Personally that block and unfriend button are pretty satisfying response for me. I understand people not wanting to unfriend family, that's a really tough call. I've made a decision in my life that's right for me, and that's if my family crosses lines into places that are abusive I'm done with them. It was a really hard decision to make, but I've stopped having panic attacks and etc... So it was the right call for me. Didn't mean to meander on, will let you know how it goes when I get there.:slight_smile:
     
  14. dirtyshirt84

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    I relate to this as I'm also friends with my husbands family and while they are not conservative at all and unlikely to react badly it's something I don't think I'm ready to deal with right now.

    I agree though i don't really want to make some kind of big announcement about coming out but I do want to be able to like/comment on LGBT stuff and on things that indicate that I'm not straight. Although possibly I already do that.

    ---------- Post added 4th Jun 2016 at 09:27 AM ----------

    Hahahahaha! This made me laugh.

    Part of me actually wants to send it!! Haha.

    Gay Hi 5. Awesome!

    ---------- Post added 4th Jun 2016 at 09:37 AM ----------

    I don't follow lizzy the lezzy but I know some of my friends do, so I'm aware of it. Maybe I will follow it though, quite a big hint, I would have thought! That's cool you were top comment! How many likes did you get? #socialmediagoals

    I don't want to make some big announcement either. I might change my profile picture to the 'celebrate pride' one when that happens here. Quite a lot of people I'm friends with know I used to go out with a girl anyway and the other half probably suspect I'm not straight, so maybe not such a newsflash as I think :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 4th Jun 2016 at 09:39 AM ----------

    Although sometimes I feel like taking a photo wearing a t-shirt like this and seeing if anyone notices!

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Katchoo

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  16. BrookeVL

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    Oh my god, I totally want to share this! Thanks Katch!

    I'm honestly not sure if I want to come out on FB or not. It probably would depend on the relationship I was in.
     
  17. Weston

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    I came out on Facebook, albeit in an oblique way (I posted a story in which I referred to myself as a "long-time closeted gay man"), because it had become too exhausting to try to tailor my postings according to who knew and who didn't. Easier just to have everybody know and let the chips fall where they may. In the end, I got nothing but positive responses.
     
  18. Katchoo

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    Yeah, I mostly want to just not have to filter what I'm posting. I'm so tired of the filtering and only want to have to do that for professionalism, in situations where even talking about an opposite sex dating relationship would be inappropriate. I don't want a big earth shattering facebook moment. Just, comment on pretty ladies. :slight_smile:
     
  19. BrookeVL

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    That's what I want too. No filter. Commenting on hunky guys would be nice(I can already comment on pretty ladies. :icon_wink). It would also be nice to be able to post relationship stuff, like everyone else does, regardless of who I'm with at the time. "Oh, you don't like this picture of me and my boyfriend cuddling, cause it's against your religion? Too bad it's my page. Oh, you're confused and pissed at me because I have a girlfriend now and I'm 'back in the closet?' Oh well."
     
  20. kypso

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    I remember talking to someone who said they just posted online to everyone 'Yeh, I'm bi, deal with it!' I wish I had that courage!