1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Have You ever said something homophobic/transphobic to better hide in the closet?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by mellissa, Sep 9, 2020.

?

Have you ever said or done homophobic or transphobic things to better hide in the closet?

  1. Yes

  2. No

Multiple votes are allowed.
Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Shavs1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2020
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Durban
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    No never! I always spoke up for gay rights even though im still in the closet. I just feel whether we identify as straight or queer its not for us to judge one another.
     
  2. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    246
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I think for me and the others that answered yes, it was more of a protection method. Most of us come from homophobic areas and were surrounded by these kind of comments. I think we fetl that if we didn't say anything homophobic people would suspect we were LGBT+
     
  3. Hypernova

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2020
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Planet Earth of the Solar System
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't remeber my thought process at the time, so I'm not sure if it was even to hide better, but...

    When I was 12, I was part of an online community that was *VERY* toxic.
    I saw some people joking about how they identified as attack helicopters.
    So I decided to join in, saying that I identified as whatever random word came into my head.

    And I'm really ashamed of it.
    I really messed up.
     
  4. DarkWhite

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2017
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    Czech Republic
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Unfortunately yes. Back then I was still getting used to the fact that I am transgender. I was in a group of very judgemental people and they started to make fun of LGBT in general. Especially transgender people. I was terrified and desperately wanted to hide any sign that I might be trans myself. Totally ridiculous since they had no way of knowing that. But yes I ended up saying some very transphobic things and I'm still very ashamed of it.
     
  5. gravechild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,394
    Likes Received:
    104
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm not sure it could be called "the closet" since I wasn't even out to myself at the time. I just knew there were certain people you didn't want to be seen associating with, certain behaviors that would make you a target, and that one of the ways to take attention from yourself was to do as everyone else
     
  6. Skaros

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,254
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I've said a a few homophobic things back when I was first discovering my sexual orientation during the 6th grade. However, I was very consistently outwardly pro-LGBT for all the time 7th grade and onward.
     
  7. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,492
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    *Cringes at the thought of my past self*

    Unfortunately, yes. I remember there was a rumour going around about me liking a particular girl and when I was asked about it, I used the opportunity to insult this girl by suggesting that she was a creepy lesbian and that of course I didn't like her, but that she probably liked me. This was just an attempt at throwing off suspicion but I do regret my behaviour.

    As for transphobic, unfortunately I used to have friends who would make attack helicopter jokes. I was openly gay but I had some internalised homophobia- I was quite concerned with "not being like other gays", so I laughed along with these jokes to prove that I was cool and not over-sensitive. There was a sense of pressure of representing the community in a good light. I took part in these jokes and made some of my own. At first, I didn't fully see the harm, I thought that the joke was to make fun of individuals who identified as something unrelated to gender (such as stars), but then I realised it was also being used against transgender individuals.

    I think for the most part, a lot of my homophobic and transphobic nature was through inaction. Laughing at homophobic comments, nodding along with transphobic remarks and so on.
     
  8. Omegduh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2020
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes I will admit that I have and what I said in the past was wrong. I did so to primarily fit in because I was scared of being gay or bisexual. I believe deep down I knew I was same-sex attracted but didn't want to admit it to myself. I've gone through periods of self-acceptance to denial of it and primarily focused on dating boys in order to fit in with a lot of my friends. Now, I can admit to myself that I do like women, more so than I thought, and men not as much, if at all.
     
  9. LetsGoNow

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2020
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    BhamUK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Nope. People assume I'm gay so it would look stupid if I said anything.
     
  10. Findmepls

    Findmepls New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2020
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I stated YES because after so many decades of hiding I am sure I have said things like that even though I tried not to be that way.
     
  11. jessie19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2020
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    south africa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I feel horrible about it, but i do this regularly to avoid issues at home, the only people who i think might suspect is one of my lesbian couple friends and one of my gay friends that ive worked with
     
  12. Joelle b

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2020
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    Possibly the moon
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    The neighborhood where I live everyone is abusive in language to everyone. I can’t go out side with out people cat calling or calling me slurs (And I’m not even out of the closet). Where I live is crazy and being called gay is actually ranked as one of the worst. It is so sad. And I’ll admit I call people gay a lot, because if you don’t hold up for your own you are nothing. So I use a lot of slurs in my language, though as I have become more aware I try to filter my language.
     
  13. Old Dog

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2020
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    If we step out of the box, and look at everybody, Heteros have said mean things at each other for ever.
    I met one guy, he was masculine, I am not, he said all the right things, made me so hot, I found my self saying all the things that turned him on,,we almost had a thing but COVID got in the way.
    I could so quickly fall into a feminine life style, and if the OLD MAN called me a derogatory name while with his masculine counterparts,,I could deal with it.
    Can we coexist with opposites? Masculine and Feminine gay or straight.
     
  14. Spatula

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2012
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Southeast US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I was a staunch advocate of gay/trans rights long before I knew it would ever affect me.
     
  15. Tymee

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2020
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Yes in my past. Now no I hate It. I don’t know but now when I hear that talk now it hurts inside. I guess because those comments may be directed at me
     
  16. BradThePug

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    6,525
    Likes Received:
    260
    Location:
    Northeast Ohio
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Before I came out, I had a lot of misconceptions about trans people. It was only after I started going to groups in college. I remember the first time I was asked my pronouns, I was so confused. I was even more confused when people used masculine pronouns. So, I said some off the wall comments because I was trying to convince myself I was not trans. I'm thankful that I have learned since then and accepted myself.
     
  17. Raisinsss

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2020
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    America
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I used to have a friend who said a lot of homophobic things around me. I never joined in, but I didn't stop him. As it turns out, though, we are both part of the LGBT community now. How fun.
     
  18. Old Dog

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2020
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I am guilty,,, no more
     
  19. Shorthaul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,392
    Likes Received:
    205
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I say a lot of things just to keep from dealing with speaking out about lots of things or don't say anything at all. Been around people long enough to know when it just isn't worth the effort to try and change their minds.
     
  20. Old Dog

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2020
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Good words Shorthaul.