Have you ever had a big crush on someone and it faded for no reason?

I would want to know why I suddenly became undesirable to someone I find attractive. Even if the reason was very upsetting to hear, I would rather hear the honest truth, than be left wondering and making assumptions. It's not nice when you are left making negative assumptions about yourself.

For example, if a guy I liked were to say to me "I thought you were cute at first, but you're kinda boring to hang out with" then I probably would think "well, fuck you then, you shallow twat, I'll move on to someone decent" but I would still have some respect for that person for telling me to my face why I don't appeal to them.

But if they don't tell it to me straight why they changed their mind about me, then that's gonna leave me thinking about every negative trait about myself that puts people off liking me - My body? My sense of humor? My taste in music and TV shows? My friends and family? My job?
And that's not going to help my confidence when it comes to trying to attract a new potential partner.

 

Yeah, it sucks to feel like you've been dumped when nothing even happened.

Maybe she does have something going on in her personal life that she wants to keep to herself until its resolved, it's possible. Sometimes things come up that we want to deal with on our own terms and we don't have the energy to deal with both these internal things AND a boyfriend or girlfriend. So perhaps she will open up to you about it one day.

If you can maintain a friendship with her, then that's good. I was willing to be just friends with guys I've dated and had crushes on, but they went completely silent on me, and that really made me feel like shit. They obviously had no value for me as a person, and didn't see me as much more than a pretty face, when there's far more to me than that which I wanted to share with them.

So, if she is treating you like a friend and values your time and input, then stick to being the kind of friend she wants. If she is doing things that cause you to feel upset and unvalued, then get the fuck away from her.

 

The vast, vast majority of people you meet you're just not going to be into in that special way. I think a lot of times a crush isn't so much being into someone in that way but the excitement that you might be. That potential is exciting because it doesn't exist in most of our interactions. But it may just be potential that doesn't actually play out. I think sometimes you get to know someone and it's not that there's anything wrong with them or that they do anything wrong, it just doesn't play out the way you thought it might.

I really would try not to take it personally. Think of all the people you meet who you don't even bother to imagine that romantic potential with. You made the cut. She imagined that with you. And then it didn't happen. It's quite possible she doesn't even know what changed. Maybe you didn't quite match that image of the future she barely even realizes she had. Maybe something happened with her that changed her ability to imagine that romantic future. It may have nothing to do with you at all. I'd try not to dwell on it.