Have you ever felt suicidal because if being gay?

Yeah, coming to terms with being too different to hide in the crowd is hard. I had a pretty bumpy ride coming out as transgender and then as lesbian. Eventually I made peace with my identity and the consequences of how I am treated because of it. It did slowly start to get better, but I had to fight for that. Living is worth it. That time is precious. Don't let other people's opinions cause you to devalue your own time on this earth.

 

Suicidal thoughts are interesting and are really an "indicator" that something is wrong. So your task at hand is to "identify" what is wrong. So how do I identify what is wrong? Well you've got to get your thinking on another road other than I'm going to end my life. I got my thinking on a different road by a) getting lots of rest. b) drink lots of water. c) eating right, no junk food. d) got lots of good exercise - Plan A. So what does this do? This feeds more blood and oxygen to the brain which should help get you on a different road.

OK so this can be hard, yes indeed. OK Plan B. Go do something you absolute love to do. Just go do it. Again this puts your thinking on a different road. But slowly integrate Plan A above and work at Plan A until it becomes routine.

Yes many of us here on ECs have been suicidal including me. When I write the above, it's because I've been to the brink. This is not stuff I've read and am passing it on. I feel your pain.

Later man

 

I've been very fortunate in that even in my lowest moments (none of which actually involved being gay, closeted or coming out), I've never reached that point. I did begin to realize once I started coming out that I was feeling overwhelmed by change, and was starting to spiral into increasing panic and anxiety. My coming out ended up being much quicker than I had planned--I was outed by a neighbor and things basically got out of control. I asked my doctor for a low dose of antidepressants to get me over the rough patches, and they were a great help.

Please talk to a professional--they are trained to help you recognize those spirals and talk yourself through them. You would be surprised at how much simpler things may seem with just the tiniest bit of help. I think I only took mine for maybe 5 months and then realized I could handle the rest of the journey without them.

The upside is that once you get through the worst of it, you will have one more addition to the list of "if I got through that, I can get through anything", which is a great confidence booster!

 

*raises hand*

I'm so glad I never acted on those thoughts. My coming out was emotional but ultimately smooth in the end and I think my relationships with people were strengthened when I was able to be my full authentic self. Plus I met so many wonderful friends and a boyfriend.

 

Not qualified to give advice on this topic so I would urge you to seek professional help. I can however assure you that you will come out of this better but you need to take positive steps like counseling. A gay lifestyle is worth living for even if the path to it requires climbing some boulders.
We are in your corner.

 

Yes, but that was back when I was still trying to understand myself , I didn’t have anyone to talk to , social media wasn’t where it’s at now, I felt alone , angry , confused , empty inside , something was missing , I felt different than my friends At the time.. even though I was pretending to be the straight girl into men.. As time went on .. my depression got worst because I got older and started to understanding myself and I became more alone , I felt like I was different , like I was letting my family down , like a weirdo .. outcast, I even tried to get into religion because I realized I was gay so I hid myself until I couldn’t take it anymore . But the key is accepting yourself now matter what! Love yourself ... the more I started loving myself and stop giving a crap .. the more I became happier and Guess what people started attracting to me. My family accepts me .. you have to find your family whether it’s your local lgbtq group .. We are your family so don’t forget that !! LGBTQ is beautiful.. the more You accept it .. You will live proud and happy !! And no one can tell you nothing..
Remove the toxic people that are making you feel it’s wrong.. surround yourself with people who love you.. travel and find yourself .. that’s what I did at least .. like lgbtq bars , events , .. etc it will make you happy

 

Yes I have for a few years off and on. From 2014-2017. It was mostly due to me being LGBT, health issues, and being in an abusive relationship. You need to go to call the crisis line to get help. You can text START to 741-741
Also you can call the crisis line
1 800-273-8255

 

Yes I have. I had thoughts about walking out under a car. I also didn't care if woke up the next day or not.

 

I forgot to say learn to meditate. Learning means take a class. What does mediation do? For me it slowed my brain down which was "racing" with all kinds of thoughts.

 

Go and take an HOUR LONG walk now. Go and clear your head.

 

Yes, I wish I had never exist.This world is full of angry adults that hate other human beings.They are sexist,racist and homophobes.I feel like I am living in hell.

 

Never that bad for me, but I definitely experience being low when I retreat into the denial.

@JToivonen, you need to know that your participation here on empty closets is important. You have perspective and insights that are helpful to the rest of us. You are an important member of this community.

 

I tried to kill myself my senior year in high school. I took pills. Luckily my Mother turned around on her way to work that day and came home for no other reason than that she felt strongly that she needed to. She arrived home in time to find me and have my stomach pumped. I can't believe I could have missed all this. I've had a wonderful life that almost just didn't happen...