Have you been accused of being gay?

All through secondary school I had people calling me gay and I got bullied for it, the school did nothing. There were also random people who'd ask if I was gay and wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't.

I've also had one of my friends (just over a year ago) say I'm gay and need to accept it, out of the blue.

Recently another one of my friends randomly asked if I was gay, more in a curious way, as if it was something they'd been thinking about. I know he would have been fine with it if I'd told him though as he supports gay rights and speaks out whenever anyone makes a homophobic comment.

I also know that one group of friends (I have two main friendship, with a slight overlap.) talk about me quite a bit behind my back (why I'm still friends with them I have no idea) and one of them told me that they've recently been discussing whether or not I'm gay and that they're "worried I am" (which is one reason I've started to drift from them now)...

So yeah, quite a few people! But no family (as far as I can tell)

 

I have had at least 3 people ask if I was gay in my lifetime, probably a good many more suspected. I'm not gay, but I am bi. I'm not overly fem in the way i carry myself but i suppose there are certain qualities that you just can't hide. Plus i live in a very homopho ic, unaccepting part of the world. Only one friend of mine knows that i'm bi and she lives far away from me so it's been difficult to not have someone to discuss this with. That's why I'm here I suppose.

 

Well, at my high school orientation, I was signing up for algebra II, and my teacher said, "Really? I didn't think gay people were into math," in front of the entire freshmen class.
:icon_redf
I was thinking, "Holy :***:ing :***:."
I normally act straight, but when I get excited (like for high school orientation), I sometimes accidentally drop my guard and act naturally (read: gay).
:bang:

 

Everybody that I've came out to has been pretty surprised. I don't really suppress anything, I'm just naturally "straight-acting" (hate that phrase, but I couldn't think of anything else to describe it), I guess.

 

I've been single for about 9 years, which is longer than I've been in my current job, and I've never made any effort to meet a partner in that time - I was in denial for so long but still couldn't face asking girls out, since I have confidence issues... Anyway as a result I'm occasionally asked by colleagues if I'm gay, albeit in a jokey manner. Also conversations with a gay colleague tend to have a lot of innuendo, often accidental, sometimes not - coming out to him could be interesting...

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting to a supervisor over a coffee and I must have looked a bit out of it (I was just starting to accept myself as gay), when he asked me what was up - I said nothing, I'm ok, and he said 'don't worry, so-and-so is gay, and we all still like him'. I damn near choked - I thought 'if only you knew!'

I finally screwed up the courage to come out to my best friend at the weekend, and when I was struggling to get the words out, he half-jokingly asked me if I was trying to tell him I'm guy! The quiet reply 'yes' is quite possibly the most difficult word I've ever said, but he sort of suspected anyway and is fine about it.

 

I don't like to use the word "accused"- it implies that being gay has a negative connotation. Anyways, no. I'm too honest with my friends and not enough with my parents... But I kinda like it this way.

 

Well, I was half-jokingly asked by my mom, if I was gay, one time during high school, because I hadn't shown any romantic interest in anyone. Apparently, I fervently denied it. Which makes sense. Back then, I was most likely in denial or still confused.

Also had a friend's little sister seriously ask me, but I can't remember how I replied. And I had an online friend, with due respect, ask me, to which I said "No, I'm just friendly." Or something like that. I SUSPECT people have suspected but haven't said anything to me. *shrug* - w-

 

I was having an argument with my wife about a week ago. It was the same old argument that I knew I was bi when I met her but never told her.

She comes out with "well, everyone thought you were gay back then. they warned me about you."

although I knew I was bi, at the time just before I met my wife, I had a huge crush on a beautiful Italian girl a little older than me. I tried to get her to go out with me but she wasn't interested.

back then, I was very slight, hadn't really gotten into girls publicly so I guess there was an assumption I was gay.

 

Hmm, Accused is such a strong word - asked/assumed is probably more accurate....

Does being called Queer and Poofta every day for the five years of High School count? (And for half the last year "batty boy" - thank you not Ali G).... I didn't have any idea myself back then as I didn't fancy guys or girls.

I've been asked/ambushed countless times with the question "Are you gay?" and a few times "Do you have a boyfriend?" (including once by my mum after asking if I had a girlfriend, but more often than not without the girlfriend question) - so yeah I guess people suspect.

At work on my birthday (well the day before as I was off on my birthday) while we were having cakes and juice one of my colleagues asked me "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" to which another one blurted out "with a nice boyfriend".... (at the time I was out to no-one).

Then again the first person I came out to had asked me before if I was gay, bi, straight, asexual countless times, yet didn't have any inclination I was actually gay - the only reason he kept asking was because I couldn't answer the damn question! The first time I came out to him he'd spent the whole night (my birthday night out which involved trawling the cities gay bars and ending up in the gay club*) asking who I'm attracted to so was obviously unsure... (as it turns out he didn't hear me give him the answer to the question as he ran after some guy he wanted to chat up - argh!) - when he asked me again ten minutes later I bottled it as one of them was standing next to us!

Oh, and after I came out to the first person - I was at Pride** and we were chatting to one of my other colleagues (who is gay, but at the time I wasn't out to) friends who just went "so X is gay, you're (me) gay, and you're gay", and pretty much all my second colleagues friends (who we met there) assumed that the first guy I came out to and me were boyfriends.... So yeah I kinda went from being out to one person to being out to around a dozen (including the second colleague) within as many hours!

Oh, and some scallie blurted out faggot after I turned my head round to follow some fit guys arse when he was running along the canal.... (to which the fit guy turned round and gave the chav the reverse-peace sign...) - said scallie was the other side of the water.

* Hmm, not really a good way of staying in the closet that is it? That being said our normal nights out normally followed the same pattern as that part of town is about the only place you can go without there being constant aggro and fights and I'm so indecisive it's unreal.

** Hmm, not really a good way of staying in the closet that is it? - lol.

Hmm, I'm trying to remember if anyone's actually "accused" me of being straight....

 

Several times, and by none other than my own mom.

 

No one ever knew. Of the 8 or so people that know, were completely surprised. I fly below the gaydar.

---------- Post added 8th Aug 2012 at 03:42 PM ----------

all* were completely surprised.

 

teasingly at school a bit because i dressed a bit tomboyish and didnt have a love interest, then A LOT at uni as i joined the football team, i denied it furiously every time, it was a running joke that i was gay then i figured out that i was and had to go round awkwardly coming out

the joys of stereotypes lol

 

Sometimes

 

Yes. Here in the Philippines, people makes fun of the gay people. So when they cant see any gay people around, they will point fingers on those who look/act gay so they can have someone to make fun of.

 

Nope...Women are the only ones who aren't blind, but either way they wait for me to tell them...

 

Never
.

 

Yes. I was 11 the first time my mom asked me if I am a lesbian. Because I was like really, really obsessed with Britney Spears (I was legit in love with her). Classmates at that age also asked me if I was a lesbian because of my obsession. But I didn't know I was gay at the time.

 

No, thankfully. But I wonder if people are suspicious at all.

 

Gay? No.

Asexual monk? Yes.

Me being intimately physical, let alone sexual, is hard for people to grasp, at least offline. I would presume this is due to how I carry myself. All I know is, when I talk about somebody 'I like', folks, even if just for a moment, act surprised that I'm not preparing for a Tibetan pilgrimage.

 

Yes, multiple times, and i denied it every time. despite the fact i am gay