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Has not responded to my coming out.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Izi, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. Izi

    Izi
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    So now I am out to a few people. These last months, after accepting myself it just felt impossible to hide all the BIG emotions and overwhelming joy of just being myself. Those I have told in my family has taken it nicely, as I have expected.
    The one I have been scared to tell is my boyfriend and father of my children. He has been a little homophobic over the years. So I did expect a punch in the face or physical pain of some sort when I told him that I am Bi, but he did not respond to it at all, like just ignoring it!!!
    Now he just wants to have sex all the time, and that has made it even worse. Like he is trying to prove to me that he is good enough. Even forcing me sometimes :icon_sad:

    I asked him if he had any questions about me being bi, but he says he hash´t. It is so difficult to get anywhere when he doesn´t want to respond to this. Sometimes I wish he could just punch me and it would be over, but now it just hangs in the air like a bad smell, not knowing what will happen.

    Anyone that can relate to this, and would give me some advice?

    Thank you for an awesome forum! This has made my coming out possible (&&&)
     
  2. 108

    108
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    It's a little troubling that you expected physical violence from coming out to your boyfriend. Honestly, that's a much larger issue than him ignoring your coming out.
     
  3. Adray

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    Congratulations on coming out!

    Being bisexual is awesome, I am too - and after fully accepting it and coming out, it just feels so great, it's really me.

    I agree with 108 on the physical violence. You should never, ever have to put up with even the threat of physical violence. If he is abusive to you, I would recommend considering other options. You mentioned children, so I know other options may not be easy, but they might be best in the long run. Don't tolerate any violence.

    Hugs and best wishes to you!
     
  4. johndeere3020

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    If he is forcing you my country would call it rape. Please be safe.
     
  5. Lora

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    Ignoring the situation about your coming out and resorting to having sex all the time even if you're not ready for it is a form of being passive aggressive. This is his way of coping and at the same time getting back to you. I'm sorry about your situation. Be safe. This passive aggression can progress to full aggression. Keep your children safe too.
     
  6. Izi

    Izi
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    Thank you for all your replies and care <3 I guess I´ve been a little paranoid about me coming out to him, and trying to anticipate how he would react to this. Thinking it would be the worst case scenario if he had punched me. He has never done that although he is a little aggressive. I have talked with him, and I believe he just don´t know how to handle this. I have told him that I need to be open about my sexuality, meaning that our family and friends will know too - still no respond. So I have moved out of the bedroom at this point... trying to get my head around what to do next.