Has anyone else ever been in self-denial about who they were before they came out?

Of course lol

 

Im on self denial even i didnt came out to others

 

just curious, do you know the history of “boston weddings”?

 

Well, I know it was a term for how women in the old days would live with their intimate "friends" if they were unmarried, to save money on rent. This was common in Boston because there were a lot of young, working class women. Of course what most people didn't recognize at the time was that some of these women were bi or lesbians and so never were interested in marrying a man necessarily. It's funny because a coworker where I work recently asked me this same question and since I live in a conservative area I had to make an effort to be very careful with my answer because some people are homophobic. But it turns out she probably wouldn't have minded.

 

I first realized I was attracted to men when I was around eleven. However I spent a couple of years pretending it was only crazy ideas I was having. I tried to pretty much force myself to feel attracted to women but I never was able to feel anything. I kept going back to the internet and looking at photos of male celebrities that I found attractive. At around seventh or eighth grade I finally came to terms with the fact that I was gay and was able to accept myself for who I really was.

 

the first time i tried to come out was to a good friend, her rnom was a lesbian, and they both told me i may be confused. i was in middle school and i thought they were right. surely a lesbian would know!? right!?
oh, if only i had allowed myself to know then.

the denial carried on for over a decade after that.

as a young adult i had been approached by women and (auto pilot mode-was so nervous) i immediately turned them down...

looking back i never really had crushes on guys like my friends did. i didn’t obsess or hang posters of famous guys all over my room...

i did however watch movies with female leads on repeat..


and have dreams about coming out to my mom and sister and they were like “duh” i’m my dreams!