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Harder to Hide

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by FreeFlow9917, Apr 19, 2016.

  1. FreeFlow9917

    Full Member

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    Hey guys! As the days go by, i find that it is really hard to hide my true gender identity. I have flats, socks, panties. I just hope to go pants shopping and find some more clothes. But with every garment i buy, i really find it harder to go back. I am trying the best i can to do feminine things without being caught.

    My mom accepts me (she hopes its a phase)

    My dad doesnt know

    My step-dad doesnt know.

    If my dad and stepdad find out their son was really a girl, they would disown me and i could possibly be kicked out of my house.

    My mom tells me to hide it, to never let them know, but it is killing me not to be myself. It is as though i am constricted and restrained and every day is harder than the last. Do you guys have any advice as to what i can do?
     
  2. jaska

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    new zealand
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I used to feel like this too all the time before I came out, it was like the pressure was slowly building. This might not be the same for you, but I realised after coming out that I had been overthinking and over exaggerating everything to the point where I thought my family would take it a lot worse than they did. So what I'm saying I guess is to consider that maybe it won't be as bad coming out as you think it might be? :thumbsup:
     
    #2 jaska, Apr 20, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2016
  3. onlyhuman33

    Full Member

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    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi Freeflow,

    I gotta tell ya, my heart is absolutely breaking as I read your post. As a father, I could never imagine "disowning" my daughter for ANY reason. In fact, I could NEVER imagine forcing my daughter to be anything other than the greatest version of her, for any reason. That being said, I also realize that your parents are indeed, unfortunately, reacting in a very too common manner. But also, as you may have read in many other posts on this site, you may be surprised at just how accepting your family may be. When I came out to my wife, I was literally ready to begin divorce proceedings. It scared me, but I knew I had to at least prepare myself for the worst. But that was back in September/October. Now, we are working to stay together as a couple. I'm not saying that divorce won't be the final outcome, but as for now, we are trying to make it work. And, we haven't been this close in many years. So, what I'm getting at is, though mentally you may be preparing your self for the worst, the actual outcome just may be a pleasant surprise.

    As for clothing advise, maybe go a little androgynous for a while. Wear clothing that makes you feel comfortable with who you are and neutral on the outside. It's kinda of a compromise. Also, if you haven't already done so, maybe start subtle things like growing your hair out. It will probably be easier to do things with baby steps as opposed to walking out of your room in full makeup and women's clothing. They won't realize it, but you will be slowly conditioning them to being used to seeing you in a more feminine light.

    I hope that helps a little bit. Good luck!!! Good Juju going your way!!!