Feeling sad, tried to make a friend but I think she'd just rather be acquaintances. Know it's not me, but disappointed and feeling like holding back from people in general for awhile. Thinking about tending to myself and not having expectations. But it's hard, does hope have expectations?
I get that but what I would suggest is keep her as an acquaintance and go out and meet like minded people, I know it's a knockback but plenty more will happen, unfortunately it's just life. You'll be fine mate, chat to people online (be careful though), go to bars or gaybars, go to museums or find something you're interested in. Don't try to hard otherwise it'll become exhausting and likewise regarding beating yourself up, just let shit flow and you'll be OK
I am sorry you are feeling down. Don't let it isolate you too long. Some people don't click, or are oblivious to others reaching out. I have very few close friends, but a butt-ton of close acquaintances. I call them close acquaintances because we will hang out in groups and have a great time and be very friendly, knowing a lot about each other. But they are not ones that I would call out of the blue and say, hey want to get a beer, or hang out. Finding close friends is harder than close acquaintances and sometimes close friends have to start out as close acquaintances. Keep looking. You will find a close friend.
Thank you. You're right about it being exhausting if you try too hard. There are things I want in life, but you have to let it go a bit to obtain it. I'll keep doing things I enjoy and being around like minded people, like you said.
Thank you Isbjorn. My best friend lives a few hours away so we don't see each other that often. I have a few friends who go places with me sometimes. I think I will try to be objective and keep her as a aquaintance for now, and just try to enjoy myself.
Hi there! Developing good and lasting friendships will take time and as it was mentioned above, if you try to be out there, and spend time with people who have something in common or feel there is potential for a friendship, chances are one will develop. Personally, I have found that friendships that have developed organically, based on a couple of things I had/have in common with someone, turned into the best friendships. Perhaps joining some groups either through meet-up, or trying to find some groups that pursue activities or have events that interest you, could help in finding someone with whom a friendship could develop. The other thing I would say, and you have ended a post with it, is to be okay with spending time by yourself. Spending time by yourself and doing something you enjoy, or can immerse yourself in, can be as rewarding as spending time with a friend. It certainly depends on whether you are an extrovert or an introvert (or something in between), and how you become energised, however there is nothing wrong with spending time on your own and/or taking a break from things.
Am sorry you were feeling sad, making friends is difficult, and can be harder to do as an adult. I have a few people I can call on as a friend, sometimes it feels like being back in the school playground. You have been given a lot of good advice, even if it didn't work out with that person, you still have friends that you can go out with, and who knows you may become better acquainted with that person in the future.
Thank you Redmelon. I'm feeling better than I was. Yes, it does still feel like being on the playground sometimes! Thanks for the encouragement. You're right! I'm blessed to have friends and there are still possibilities.=)
I know how you feel as an Autistic. I've had very few IRL friends in my life myself (I can count ~ 6 people off of the top of my head give or take, everyone else I considered being acquaintances as we weren't that close) mainly because I've always been that "shy and quiet" kid, mostly the latter; Adulthood is currently no different for me, as I haven't had a IRL friend in over 5 years. I've always been one for video games and reading to fill that portion of my life, as they help give me something to do; I play Magic the Gathering as well but haven't played IRL in over 3 years. I do try to make friends online as well, but the past few years have been rough in that regard, to the point where I've gone as far as to try not growing too attached to people, or even consider everyone mere acquaintances in case I need to drop them at a moments notice due to drama or a Discord server becoming too much for me. Both tactics have proved to fail me however, as I think growing attached to some degree is inevitable, and having to leave those people behind is still hurtful for me, to the point where I feel guilty or enter a state of melancholy (or both) for a while afterwards, which is honestly hard to describe.
Isadoorian, Thank you for relating your experiences of difficulty making friends. Members of my family fall within the autism spectrum and I can relate to certain traits. These traits can contribute to feeling overwhelmed and/or greater difficulty for me socially. It I also hard on my emotions and I, too, feel melancholy after an attempt to make friends didn't go as I wish. I don't want drama or discord either, and there are some people we learn it is best to avoid. However, I do think making relationships involves some risk and development of trust, and when it works out, I think it's worth it. =)
Making friends is hard I know but you kinda just have to push threw things. I know the most basic advice ever but that’s kinda all I got.
I think you're right. Sometimes I go to events alone because my husband is tired, my friends are busy, or I didn't ask them in time. It gets easier as time goes by because I go to two main places and I get used to seeing certain people and they get used seeing me and I get used to seeing them.
