Hey guys, I've posted a couple of times about this if you want to check it out. So, me and my best friend had sex (we planned our encounter) because we both wanted to have fun and there were no boundaries between us. We agreed we wanted to keep having sex but he made clear he's not into guys though. His girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks later because she was seeing someone else, they were basically cheating on each other. So, our friendship grown closer, we started going out for coffe, going to the movies, he was coming to my place on the weekends and we would end up watching netflix and drinking wine. Two weeks ago we were on a party and he offered me to spend the night at his place because I live far away. We slept on the same bed and the next morning when I woke up I was hugging him tighly and he didn't seem to be bothered. Anyway, now he simple don't talk to me much. I asked him yesterday if everything was cool between us he told me "yes, I'm just back who I used to be" and added, "what happened between us won't happen again because I'm not curious anymore" and I think he's secretely seeing his ex - girlfriend. I told this story to a gay friend (who by the way used to be jelous of him and made a scene in college about us being a couple of closeted guys). He said, "first of all, I don't think that you're straight if you have planned sex with a guy when you're 23. It seems like you were having some sort of relationship with him but if he doesn't want to hang out like that anymore you can't do anything". He's right, I have to move on, get rid of my feelings and get back to the friendship we had before anything happened. I think my friend is straight but i'm always asking myself why all of this happened? Why would you have sex with your best friend and behave like we did if there's nothing going on? Did I made a mistake when he asked me if I wanted to do something with him? What do you think guys? Thanks for reading.
Based on what you have written it is strange that he suggested the physical intimacy. It does sound like he was curious but now is afraid to explore further. This man needs space and no pressure to reach his own decision. It is possible that something awakened in him and he doesn't want to take it any further with you or with any other male. It is also possible that the sex did not fulfill him as he expected and that he reached a satisfactory conclusion. Regardless of your feelings he has set his boundary and my advice would be to release him in your head space so that he feels relaxed in your presence. Establish your own personal boundaries with yourself. For example if he suggested at a later stage that he wanted sex with you again, would you be ok with that? You also need to protect your heart. It is strange that he wanted to explore when he had the distraction of a girlfriend. I think that he does need to address his sexual orientation but at the moment he wants to avoid you in order to avoid confronting the issue. So I think just be agreeable and non demanding in his presence. Have you fallen for him?
So, this friend was the first person I came out as bi last summer, he was very chill and told me he did some experimentation when he was a teenager. Since then he started to send me mixed signals until he made the move. Days after we had sex, he sent me pics of him naked and I asked him if he liked what we did and said yes. Actually, the day his girlfriend dumped him he was supposed to come to my place. And yes, I fell for him. We met 4 years ago and I never felt anything for him until all of this happened. This was my first homosexual experience, I've being physically attracted to guys but that's all. However, I would go for a full relationship with him, even though I know it won't happen.
I read your other posts. All indications are that he is gay (maybe bi but I feel he prefers men and is trying to work out what to do). He has options to consider - staying closeted, having occasional hookups etc., coming out. What I do feel is that he is considering his own emotional and physical needs, prioritizing them and not your needs. He is dictating how your relationship proceeds. Yes he is confused as you are so maybe that explains his preoccupation with himself. My suggestion is to emotionally cut the strings, value yourself enough to walk away from him and focus on your emotional needs. Then you must trust that he will have to confront his feelings for you and make a decision. Allow him some space to sort his head out. Sort out your feelings away from him too. Straight men do not send naked pictures of themselves to other men.
