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Half coming out

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Searching1, Aug 9, 2017.

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  1. Searching1

    Searching1
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    Maybe it's the martini I just hadn't but I have a seriously strong urge to start messaging random friends to tell them I think I'm lesbian. I don't even care anymore.. it so weird how right it feels! Amidst the turmoil and craziness in my life it's still something that makes my heart beat stronger and gives me excitement!

    We had another couples therapy session this evening. Something I sort of rambled about was just how inconvenient ot would be leaving to be lesbian. Leaving comfort and stability and hurting my family.. why would I ever choose that? In other words, I wouldn't!! I would only make that choice because I KNOW that it is my truth and the only way to be authentic. I have to trust that if I get to the point of making the choice to be leave that it would be because this is all real and burning inside me. I have to trust myself.
     
    #21 Searching1, Aug 15, 2017
  2. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Hey Findingmyself1, did you message anyone?
     
    #22 silverhalo, Aug 15, 2017
  3. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    Simply stated but packed with bottom line sensibility for all of us! Anytime throughout my life when I have NOT trusted myself and gone off with some other plan, (or worse, allowed myself to be dragged along by someone else's 'plan') are the times that have caused me the most pain and struggle!

    Loved your rainbow and tears quote. I think you might like this one too!

    'It's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave.' :slight_smile:
     
    #23 Moonsparkle, Aug 16, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2017
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  4. NallaV

    NallaV
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    I feel like I could have wrote this myself. I am in the same shoes as you. My mind even keeps processing the same worry, "he is a good husband, can't I just be happy, I will be financially stable and that means the kids will be taken care of if I stay." But as you said, you have to stay true to yourself. I am jumping off this cliff with blind faith that there is someone out there for me that I will truly love. If you believe in God, he is the only thing getting me through this.
     
    #24 NallaV, Aug 16, 2017
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  5. Searching1

    Searching1
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    @Moonsparkle, that is so true. And yes I love that quote! I am going to have to save that.

    @silverhalo no I didn't :slight_smile: But I'm planning on calling and updating a couple friends this week.
     
    #25 Searching1, Aug 16, 2017
  6. Searching1

    Searching1
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    Yes, you sound just like me! I have the most amazing husband. He is everything I should ever want. He has so much love to give. It kills me that I am hurting him. If I go forward with all of this, yes it really will be jumping with blind faith. It's all we can do.. trust our gut. I have to know that if I choose to leave to pursue this, then it is because it's the decision I had to make. We are doing everything to save us and taking our time, and that is all that we can do.
     
    #26 Searching1, Aug 16, 2017
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  7. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Yay i will keep my fingers crossed for you.
     
    #27 silverhalo, Aug 16, 2017
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