Hmmm. How do I start. So I’m one of those lesbians... yes... the one who falls in love with straight girls. I had an “incident” last year that I cannot seem to get over. I have never felt this depressed in my life. It is like my love for life has diminished and my spark has been taken away from me! I no longer believe in love anymore either which used to keep me going. I don’t feel interested in anything anymore. I used to love so hard with my whole being now I feel a bit numb?! I had a “friend” met at work. A straight woman who is very unhappy in her life and is in an abusive relationship. When we first met she would play love songs and cry over her abusive baby father, I felt the need to save her, now I've lost myself. She would not leave me alone. She kept wanting to “hang out and smoke” so I did and we became very close. This girl led me on like it was nothing. She was not even my type but somehow I fell for her... hard. She was very clingy and would flirt with me. Maybe I took it the wrong way? I don't know how this all happened with her. But she would always say "you're the one person I always want to be with", "you're sexy", "I love you more than anyone", "I fancy you", etc... it was a thrill for me as even though I have many many options with girls, I felt comfortable around her. She would also get very jealous if women flirted with me. I don't know why she was like this? She would also constantly feel the need to get naked in front of me and her five year old daughter would say "mummy you only do that when she's here". I met her when I was about 24/25 and she was 28/29. She had a daughter and she now has a son. All that aside, last year she said "Can you come to mine so that we can talk" I said "OK" and basically she sat me down and said "What you're doing is wrong, you need to find a man and have children and settle down, how are you ever going to be happy? You can't bind your body with a woman and make a child that represents the both of you, you're 26 now, you're getting on" for some reason, this CRUSHED me and I started crying and said "I can't live a lie, I can't imagine being with a man and I can still have kids someday even though I'm gay" and she said my kids will be made fun of for having two mums and that it's wrong. I don't feel right since. It's like I cannot get over this girl even though she has destroyed me. I was so confident in myself and who I am but she has made me have so many fears. I never had a fear of ageing, she did, now I fear ageing. I always loved life and looked for the best in everything, she seemed to hate life, now I feel like that kind of. She used to always say she can't watch TV anymore, I can't focus on TV anymore, I would be more than happy at one point staying at home all day watching TV now I can't focus on TV and nothing interests me. I feel like life is passing me by and I feel full of dread and fear. I feel like I will never find love. I feel like my time is running out. I feel unworthy.I feel unlovable. And it's been OVER A YEAR. I still look at my phone every day to see if she has texted me. What is wrong with me? I am concerned about my mental health. I miss the love I have for life, I miss the love I have for people and my family. My twin sister HATES seeing me like this but she said to me "I warned you that girl was bad for you" Will I ever recover from this? it's been OVER A YEAR!!!!!!!!! Any tips to get over this?