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Guilt trips and manipulation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tightrope, Feb 3, 2021.

  1. Tightrope

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    Have you had people play guilt trips on you? I wouldn't say that they totally worked when I was a teen, but they had some effect on me. As an adult, they mostly anger me. They seem to be used to manipulate you to change your behavior or how you think of something or someone. Since this would anger me, I don't comply with the person pulling the guilt trip on me. With enough of these, the friendship or relationship comes to a halt. It's time to move on.

    Who has played guilt trips on you and why do you think they did that? What did you do about it?

    I feel it might be good to discuss this because guilt trips are so common and not very helpful at all.
     
  2. Loves books

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    My mother uses guilt trips on me. They kind of lose their effectiveness once they started pissing me off. Even if I wanted to do what she was guil tripping me in to I’d probably refuse because I won’t be manipulated. She does get kind of annoyed when they don’t work.
     
  3. Tightrope

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    @Loves books I have experienced them from my parents as well. Like you, probably more so from my mother. Most of them were about not doing something they wanted me to do or not doing it well enough. Of course, I argued back and didn't cave in. They just cause fights and they don't get results.

    I've had them from peers in weirder ways. These were mostly in the past and were either for not liking them romantically or not liking of friend of theirs romantically and whose feelings were hurt. Like with mothers doing them on their kids, the peers who did the guilt trips were also women. It makes me wonder if it's an approach that women use more often than men. In the situations with peers, I stayed silent and kept my cool when it was a direct approach from someone (why don't you like me?) but got quite mad when they were putting on the guilt trips to try to help out a friend of theirs.

    Why do people even put them on other people? I am at a loss.
     
  4. BradThePug

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    I think that a lot of people do this because they do not want to be accountable for their actions or their role in a situation. I've had a lot of people try this on me over the years. It sucks when people do this, because to me it is them just projecting their issues onto me.