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Goodbye To Everyone & Myself

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by DeLuna, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. BookDragon

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    From the sounds of things, you're already alone.

    How do you get out? There are many, many options. None of them are easy.

    But let's take the simplest one.

    Let's say you DID suppress the little girl inside you. Let's say you managed to lock her away.

    Eventually you would move out of your parents home, right?

    So forget your gender for a moment, what was your plan to 'leave the nest'?
     
  2. I will also be alone once I get out.But that can be worked on.
     
  3. DeLuna

    DeLuna Guest

    Right this second it is the fear of being all alone in a shelter if I get out

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 09:06 AM ----------

    Finishing up my last year of high school, learning how to drive, saving up some money, getting a job, and than maybe I could move out
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    You don't cause them pain. The modern society and the prejudice that permeates on it is the problem, so it isn't your fault, you don't need to blame yourself for just wanting to be yourself. :icon_wink

    You aren't. We rooting for you

    Wish you the best <hug> (*hug*) Don't give up!
     
  5. Hi.Apologies that I only get back to you now.The drama at home is out of control again.Will get back to you but can not really talk atm.Hang in there.
     
  6. FancyGummy

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    As someone who is also very much concerned of my parent's opinions, I completely understand how you feel. I have been holding off on coming out to them due to a whole bunch of other issues that have come up lately...

    but more importantly, I tried "killing" the real me (or as I said burying) quite a few years ago, and all that accomplished was to make it far more painful when I remembered who I really was.

    Similar to you, I'm about to finish High School. Just remember, the only reason your parents feel "pain" (if they truly do) about any of this is because they can't accept who their child truly is - their daughter, no matter what they think otherwise. Their discomfort is their own fault, not yours.
     
  7. DeLuna

    DeLuna Guest

    Take care please

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 09:57 AM ----------

    I think I'm joining some dating site, maybe I can meet some gentleman that can save me from all of this
     
  8. Will do that.Look after yourself as well.

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 12:11 PM ----------

    Things have calmed down now,so no need to worry about me.

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 12:15 PM ----------

    Finances-they always seem to be a problem.Can you think of a talent that you have?Even if it sounds silly
     
  9. DeLuna

    DeLuna Guest

    I think my talent is dancing, I love dancing in the rain
     
  10. stocking

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    Luna don't leave :icon_sad:
     
  11. Claudette

    Claudette Guest

    I know it is hard... trust me.. I hid this same secret for 27 years of my life, pretending to be "normal" was never easy. Much like you I felt so small, I felt imprisoned inside my own body. Suicide is not the answer here...
    You shouldn't fear ending up alone...here are alot of people who would be willing to date transgenders... they're just not open about it because it right now is shunned, and stigmatic...
    If you kill yourself... what example are you leaving behind? It is always easy to throw in the towel and give up... if you continue to live your life, someday someone will appreciate your struggle, and it will give them the courage and inspiration to push on to the brighter day... and when you become successful in life... change things, change what transgender kids in your area are forced to go through... Fight for equal rights in Alaska/Oregon... or open a LGBT shelter for kids who would be like you, feeling forced by their parents to live a lie...
    I am rambling I apologize.What I am saying is... you could potentially change alot of future lives by living through this dark period, then you would by offing yourself.... Transgender people are the demographic with the highest suicide rate... don't strengthen this number... help reduce it, by continuing to live, and by being a superhero to others who share your pain.
     
  12. lucina

    lucina Guest

    DeLuna, I know we only met yesterday or the day before, but I can tell you're special. I can tell your someone worth fighting for, even from hundreds of miles away. Have you told your parent's you're depressed and contemplating suicide? I did almost a year ago. It's gotten easier over time to cope with it, but it's yet to go away. Take it from the 15 year old that falls in love with every pretty person he knows, and you're one of them. I hope you can find the strength to go on.
     
  13. BelleFromHell

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    OH, BUTTERMILK BISCUITS!!
    You scared the living shit out of me! The title made me think you might've commited suicide!
    Jeez... please don't scare me like that, woman... :astonished:

    Your family seems to be a couple of asshats, but I don't think you need to hide your true self forever.
    You're 19, did you finish high school yet? If so, I recommend going to college. You need to get out of that house ASAP. If you can't afford college, then go get a job and/or get as much finiancal aid as you possibly can.

    Another thing you could do is join the AmeriCorps NCCC program. My god-cousin's mom is a psycho and that's what he did to get away from her. You help people out and in return they give you a place to stay, money, and a scholarship for a college of your choice. I plan on joining once I get my GED.
     
  14. Radioactive Bi

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    Your not bothering people when they want to be there for you and help. And all of us here do.

    Remember, this is "your" life, and regardless of all your parents do for you, only you can decide who you are and what you want out of life. Sometimes it's hard, but you shouldn't go through your life denying who you are or you will end up looking back on your life with regret.

    Of course, I can't tell you what you should do or who you should be, but neither can anyone else, including your mother.

    I hope you make the right choice, and everyone here is there for you.

    (*hug*)
     
  15. AudreyB

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    Why can't parents be more supportive and realize that our version of happiness might not be the same as theirs? :frowning2:

    Stay strong, girl.
     
  16. lucina

    lucina Guest

    DeLuna please tell me you're okay.
     
  17. lucina

    lucina Guest

    DeLuna, at first I misunderstood the message of the thread, but my point remains. Don't kill the beautiful person you are inside. Please, for us and for yourself. Because, if you deny yourself, you might actually do some harm to yourself.
     
  18. Dancing...Okay...Often we are good at more than one thing without realizing it.Can that talent be taken further?If not,why not?Apart from dancing,if you had to think of another talent/interest.Either of the two.What would it be?

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2014 at 09:43 PM ----------

    I just woke up so not sure if I took that too literally.Perhaps.But even if that is the case.Regarding to dancing(or insert talent here)what does it give you?
     
  19. IG88

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    Hiding who you are will only hurt yourself even more, making the situation worse later in life. You shouldn't sacrifice your true self in order to please others, even if those others are you parents. I'm sure your parents love you, sometimes they have messed up ways of showing it. In the end, you should love yourself.

    Plus, where you are right now...that's not going to last forever. Just by keeping a journal and keeping track of how your emotions and situations change will be evident month by month, looking back at a written record helps us realize that.

    You're not going to live with your parents forever, and just like there was a time when they stopped dressing you because you were old enough to do it on your own, there will be a time where you don't have to rely on them financially or emotionally because you will be mature and strong enough to do that for yourself. Is it really worth "killing" yourself in order to make others happy?
     
  20. DeLuna

    DeLuna Guest

    Here's a update..........

    I'm still here, I'm still being......



    Tonight my friend came over and now he's sleeping over....... My mum could tell that I was about to lose it so she just backed off and invited my friend over.......

    My friend may not understand me but at least he's trying to be nice about it all



    I'm still here, at least for tonight I'm still me