Hey guys. So I’m going to a gay bar for the first time this weekend, but I’m getting more and more nervous as the day approaches. Im only out to a handful of people, so this is definitely a huge step for me. I’m not out to any of my male friends and I’m certainly not gonna ask them to go to a gay bar with me (they’re not anti-lgbt though, but I’m sure they’re not interested In going). I’m going with my 2 closest straight, female friends. The thing is... I don’t know what to expect. For those of you who have gone to gay bars, can you share your experiences? I have a few questions to ask: 1. Is going to a gay bar with female friends “normal” or do gay guys typically go with other gay guys? 2. Is it safe, especially for a closeted gay? 3. What’s it like???? Thanks!!
Im not gonna promise your gonna have a great time, but my first experience was awesome. I went alone and felt really safe. Got my first kiss too! From a dude! Haha music was crunk and lots of eye candy. EVERYONE was super friendly. I had lots of alcohol bought for me. Thou I also bought alcohol for alot of folks to. Just go with the plan to have an awesome time and you will. Loosen up no need to be nervous (I say that but I was scared shitless) there's nothing to worry about.
As for what to expect. Lots of guys with no shirt or wearing a leather vest type thing. Or like a horse bridle looking thing around their shoulders. All types of guys. Lots of guys in drag. Was a good bit of women too but I wasn't looking for them so I can't remember the ratio really.
Straight girls are way normal at a gay bar. Too normal for some people's liking if that tells you something. I think most guys will go with their girl friends for the first time since most of us didn't have gay friends when we started coming out It depends how you define safety. Physically safe? It depends on your city and neighborhood you go to. Its always smart to never go to your car alone, try to park in well lighted areas, and be aware of people around you when you are walking out of the bar. It rare, but LGBT attacks have gone up since the cheeto became president. Most clubs will be aware of this and have cameras in the parking lot and try to have well lit areas. Now is it safe cor a closeted person when it comes to being recognized? That is harder since there is a chance you will run into people who might know you there. But for the most part people are fairly good at respecting people's privacy if they see you there. It depends on the club. Each club has its own feel and culture. Some clubs are crazy, some are laid back, and some are in the middle. You kinda have to try a few to learn what kind of environment you are into. The club can be a lot of fun. It can feel incredibly freeing seeing other gay people dance and have a good time and no one giving a damn. You will see people of all ages and types. You will see people looking amazing and some people who came out in shorts (depends on if the club is strict about attire). The first time at a gay club can also be overwhelming. Do you like straight clubs? If you do I think you will have a great time. If you don't really, then the first time will be a lot to process. For me, I don't like clubbing but I love gay clubs because I love watching people. The first time I went I gave myself the goal to just show up and have a beer. There is no pressure to dance or even talk to anyone if you don't want to. So go have fun, dance with your friends, and who knows you might make eye contact with a cute guy and have the time of your life
There's frequently at least 1 straight / bi guy that will be hitting on your girl friends. If you get hit on and the guy is not your type, be polite / kind with your turn down. Have fun.
Personally I don't like hanging around with girls in gay pubs, but then we all have different preferences. As you're new to the gay scene, I think it will be good for you to go accompanied by girls that you trust. Better than going alone. Going to a gay pub (or any pub for that matter) on your own can be very daunting, especially if you're not used to being in those sorts of environments. Some creepy old man or sleazy drunkard might try it on with you, so it will be good to have your girlfriends there to stop the wrong people from pestering you. A girlfriend can also act as your wingwoman and help you pick out men that you do find interesting and break the ice so that you can get chatting comfortably with nice guys. But don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't feel ready for. If you want to just have a fun drink and chat and maybe a dance with your girls without hooking up with any guys yet, then just say so.
