There's this guy I'm thinking of going out with tomorrow from some college, and we're planning and all. How do I make sure it goes well? I don't feel like an amazing connection yet with him, since he's kind of slow in responses like he's thinking or just bored. And I don't want people to recognize me...
Thus the dilemma of being in the closet and seeking companionship. How are you going to go on a date and be sure no one recognizes you? You can't, unless you're in a completely different state/province/city/etc. Unless you two were already friends, going somewhere with a guy that no one who could notice you has seen is very suspicious. I do not recommend dating while in the closet, it can end in disaster; if someone finds out, you've lost control of your coming out situation. People can be cruel when that happens because they know that you are vulnerable, they know that they can hurt you. You could conceivably rent a movie and watch it someplace, that way it is less likely someone will notice you, but that could be dangerous (I don't have your knowledge of this guy). So...only you have the answers here Jack. Hugs (*hug*)
Thanks we decided a city in between us, 10 miles from where I am. But still I am risking it, but I don't know anyone that I know in this city. Some place he knows. I need a lie to tell my family where I'm heading, since I stay home every day after school, so that's going to seem way suspicious. I'll just say i'm going shopping though like the mall. If I come out through that then it's okay, it's no better to be safe than sorry in that kind of situation. He's bisexual too... and said he's straight acting like ten times already.
omg he's hyper masculine too, so i think he hates being bi. It's like he's a manly stereotype beyond the norm.
Maybe, maybe not. A really manly guy can't be bi? Stereotypes are no fun. Other than that, how was the date or what ever?
it didn't happen yet, i made this thread last hour... i just met him yesterday i'm just bored and typing about him here basically
Not to be rude, or harsh, but let me get this straight! You met this guy on facebook yesterday. You already know that he is hyper masculine, (based on which you make the assumption that he hates being bi), that he is acting straight, and has many stereotypes beyond the norm.... and all that from facebook? You don't have an amazing connection with him, and he seems to be 'slow' in responding....and you are ready to go on a date with him in a city that is half-ways between his place and yours?
It's at a public place like a coffee place, and i don't like flaming guys, but I don't know if he's going to like me if I'm not as masculine as him. He told me he wants to start more as friends and go slowly. He just told me he likes action films, wants to do construction, straight acting repeatedly, tall and has facial hair. He isn't out to too many people, and dated 1 guy so we're both inexperienced I am assuming. That's how I assume he hates being bisexual, because he doesn't talk much about being bi but more like he's a straight guy dating experimentation. I want to meet him to start dating, and he seems like a good guy just different from me.
It sounds like you are making a lot of assumptions, some of which are based on stereotypes. I suggest you go and just try to enjoy your time together. Get to know him without any preconceived notions.
I'm going to see him pretty soon at a coffee shop, I hope it goes well. I don't even know what to talk about with him. I'm so inexperienced with dating it's sad. And I feel guilty too for some reason now, like I'm doing something really wrong to my family or something.
He's looking to have a relationship, but wants to start slowly and be friends first. I consider it a date because we both want more but taking it slowly. But he wants to see me again after tonight at his place and watch movies on Halloween, I told him probably not since I'm busy. So, I think that's more than friends already. I have to go like in an hour, so I'll tell you all about.
Time for a reality check! It is not a date! From what you have said, he wants friendship (for now). If I want to be friends with someone, and want to get to know someone, I will invite that person over and ask if that person wants to get together later on. That does not make it a date! There is a difference between friendship and dating. You yourself said he wants to be friends first! Where is the dating part?
