I've been struggling with various forms of depression and anxiety as well as emetophobia for a few years now, and I've finally mustered the courage to go to counseling. Really, I would prefer to go into therapy, but I'm moving to the UK in 6 months so I can't go into anything long-term right now. But that's besides the point. My first appointment is next week and I just would like to know if anyone has been and could give me a rough idea of what to expect. One of the main reasons I'm going is to figure out my sexual identity issues - I still really don't know if I'm gay, bisexual, pansexual, or what. It feels like my sexuality fluctuates and on top of that, I still have so much internalized homophobia that I can't talk to my parents about it even though I'm out to them and they are nothing but supportive. I filled out on a form for the counselor that I'm gay but am experiencing sexual identity issues, so if anyone has dealt with this in counseling as well please let me know what it's like because I'm really nervous to open up about my sexuality.
You can expect that the first appointment or two will be awkward, just like any "getting to know you" period is. Be sure to state you goals for therapy up front. ALL of the goals including your gender identity issues. Counselors and therapists need guides to help them plan out how they are going to help you and which directions to take the sessions, unless you tell them what your goals are, they are lost in the dark. Remember that when you're in that office with the door closed, it is a completely private, safe space. They are legally not allowed to share anything you tell them with anyone. This opens up a freedom for you to be completely open and honest without fear of repercussions. You may want to keep in mind, as well, that this is as much about you clicking with them as it is about the being there to help you. If the counselor makes you uncomfortable beyond the initial awkward "getting to know you" phase, it may mean you need to look for a different counselor.
I agree with this, but it's also important to say that counselling requires a good amount of self work and perseverance. It's certainly not a stroll in the park and even if you have a great relationship with your counsellor you do need to prepare yourself for some hard work and moments of awkwardness. Sometimes it's possible to make a lot of progress in a short time, but counselling often requires more time and effort and I'm just concerned that your imminent move to the UK will disrupt any progress you begin to make. How important is it to start this now?
I wrote a lot of the things down that were on my mind and emailed this to her before our first session so she had an idea of what I wanted to discuss etc. This was also a way to open up about personal stuff which I would have probably chickened out on and not said otherwise.
Ideally, I would like to start now so that in 6 months time when I move to the UK, I'll be able to function socially. Right now I'm somewhat of a shut-in and probably leave the house less than once a week, so I guess in these 6 months I'll be seeing this counselor I really just want to, for the first time ever, talk to someone about all of my thoughts and feelings and attempt to learn why I do certain things and what triggers my depression or anxiety. Minor goals would be figuring out more of my sexuality and increasing my self-confidence.
Be sure to tell the counsellor about your move to the UK, because that may have a bearing on how things proceed. Good luck!
The first session is just about understanding each other and what the goals of counseling/therapy will be. Here you will be asked questions, but you can ask questions too! There is also talk of schedules, goals, methods, and time frames so be sure to tell them about your move. This is also the time to get a vibe of them and whether you like them. It's important that you feel comfortable and at ease with your therapist. A therapist or counselor should be accepting, non judgemental, and calm about you coming out and discussing your sexuality. It should not matter to them, like your religion or race doesn't matter. It is merely one aspect of who you are and counselors are there to service a diverse public. I would really recommend to take things slow. Get counseling, but focus on stuff like self confidence, coping with anxiety and depression, understanding your triggers, self care, self compassion, etc so you'll be in a better place when moving. Therapy can get overwhelming if you start digging into painful stuff especially if your counselor isnt equiped to deal with it, so if counseling gets too stressful speak up about it. You can always readjust to what works for you. Something else to expect. counselor won't have as much training/expertise as a licensed therapist. Not all therapists are trained to deal with LGBT issues in depth. I'm not saying a counselor can't help at all, but they may not be able to help as much as you'd like. Talking about your sexuality and receiving empathy back is extremely helpful though in dealing with fear and shame. So do speak about it!
