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Getting rid of attraction, and moving on.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bearhug1994, May 21, 2018.

  1. bearhug1994

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    This is not my first moving on post but I saw my best friend/guy I fell completely in love with this past week after 3 years plus a few months. I figured I'd be ok to see him because I haven't felt like I was still attracted to him in months. I've been trying to find someone else to think about. I even went to a gay club a few months ago and i thought I felt attraction to a few guys I've seen/kissed, etc. But I seen him and my gut just twisted in about 40 knots and my heart was pounding. I couldn't hardly talk or breathe. Right after we talked for like literally 1 min we had to ride with a different friend to go get something and me and him had to sit in the back and the drivers side back was full of stuff and we had so sit close to each other. Our knees and elbows were you touching and the gut feeling and heartbeat and breathing was almost unbearable. I was crying as quite as I could so No One would know.(I'm glad it was dark outside). My question is how to make this stop. I've never felt anything like this except with/for him. I love the feeling it feels good. But if I can't be with this guy I want this misery to stop but I can't make it. I've loved this guy for like 7 years unreciprocatedly. There has to be a way to end this torture. My heart seriously can't take anymore. I either want to be with him or have these feelings end, or at least find someone else that makes me feel that way.

    Also, can attraction be crippling? Like mentally? Reason I ask is because wen I get these feeling I can't do anything but be in my mind. Everything else is ignored besides what's going on between me and him. Cant even concentrate on playing games or watching t.v.. why does this feeling have to be so strong after 7 years. I'm sick of this.
     
  2. nemoMous

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    Have you tied searching on youtube? :thinking:

    A shorter video if you prefer:


    I don´t know if you have tried it but listen to music helps me heavy or difficult situarions like that.
     
    Leah061 likes this.
  3. Jax12

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    I’m not too sure about these situations either, but maybe this is a where no contact would be most effective?
     
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  4. bearhug1994

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    Yea that's it, but if I do I'll lose him as a friend. And all my other friends will know something is up too. Plus I still wanna be his friend. I don't want to never see/talk to him again.
     
  5. Jax12

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    Completely understand your position; you don’t want to lose him in general. Some time apart might help though.
     
  6. wardrobeescaper

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    Listen to Linger by the Cranberries, Linger. If possible listen to the rest of the album. That helped me. I have to keep a former crush at a distance and I wonder if we will ever be friends again.