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Getting pregnant?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Blazer97, Dec 16, 2016.

  1. Blazer97

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    Hello, this has been bugging me for a while.

    Since secondary school (age 13 and above) I've heard my female friends and acquaintances around me talking about having children in the future. I'm a female, more masculine than feminine, and didn't think seriously about having children, but if i do i feel more comfortable being identified as a "father".

    However, I don't feel the same as those girls who talk about getting pregnant and giving birth to infants. I don't understand 19-year-old couples talking about children because the thought of myself bearing a child disgusts me.

    Anyone wants to talk about this? I've always thought about the age factor but my friends are the same age as me. I'm 19 now. I've googled but didn't find any satisfying answer.
    Could this be related to gender identity & expression? Or is it just a personal preference that straight ciswoman would feel the same as me?
     
  2. CROSSY ROAD

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    I kinda feel the same way. I do not want children at all, not from my body, at least. I don't think this is a sexuality thing, it's just your preference.
     
  3. Kodo

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    It always horrified me to think of physically bearing children, as my mind sort of automatically rejects the idea as impossible.

    Theoretically, though, I wouldn't mind being a father if my child were born through someone else. I am not the best case for your point, but regardless I do not think it is necessarily a result of sexuality or gender to not want to carry children.

    Like Cross said, it is more a personal preference. Associated with femininity, sure, but a preference nonetheless.
     
    #3 Kodo, Dec 16, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2016
  4. Sebby45

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    I've never wanted to have children, I find the whole process from beginning to end disturbing. I have never been very comfortable with femininity in general. And never very comfortable around children. I feel more the big brother type, rather than the Father/Mother type.

    So, I agree with the idea that it is preference, but also a bit of gender identity.
     
  5. i am just me

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    I feel very similar, blazer. The thougt of me carrying a child disgusts me. I don't get that feeling when I think about someone else being pregnant. I also kind of like the thougt of someone else carrying my biological child and caring for that person. I'm not really sure what I think about the term 'father' but I guess I would like to be a parent.

    It makes me slightly anxious, because I could theoretically imagine to spend my life with a man as well (as I'm pansexual). But if I were to, I would usually be seen as 'the woman' and expected to be 'the mother'. So I guess that version life is not possible for me :/
     
  6. Blazer97

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    Glad to know that there are people out there who feels something similar. It's all so out of the heteronormative situation i'm in. Really appreciate your sharing. Thanks people!
     
  7. Creativemind

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    It's actually very common for women to be averse to childbirth these days. You should see all the comments I've seen on forums or even within my age group.
     
  8. randomconnorcon

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    It's definitely not uncommon for cis women to dislike or even hate pregnancy and/or giving birth. And there are transmasculine individuals who wouldn't mind having a child naturally. Personally, the idea of me getting pregnant and giving birth is rejected because it's impossible for a cis male to do that and that's what I should be. That's how I feel, even though I know my body can, in reality, do those things because I was not actually born male. But I would maybe like to be a dad one day, whether it's adoption or using a surrogate/my partner having the baby. I'll have to learn to tolerate kids first, though. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    It's more down to preference than anything, I think.
     
  9. Kira

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    The way I see it, the world is overpopulated and there's no reason to go through all that pain and hassle. My cats are more than enough in all honestly, and they'll never grow up or threaten to stab me. Though the Companion Cube wouldn't do that either, and look what you did to it you monster. :lol:

    Humor aside yes, I won't be having any. I know that is "absolutely shocking" considering I'm gay but yeah. Heteronormative bias. Best to weigh the pros and cons along with the world you would be bringing them into, since I'm neither "hetero" or "normative" you know.

    Won't judge somebody if they do. I just wish more people would think before they act, it's a lot more responsibility than most let on and seeing so many folks ending up disowned and homeless just stings the heart strings. My stepsister's biological mom has been in and out of prison for her whole life for drugs so she never even knew her, she has about seven brothers and sisters who didn't either. It sort of hurts to think about that.
     
  10. Delta

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    I feel more like the girls you see talking about kids at age 19, but I'm not a girl.

    I knew from the beginning of my life that I wanted to someday get pregnant and have babies. Kids were kind of the focus of my family's life when I was growing up. Not that actually everything was about us or that we got what we wanted without reason, but that the other things in life were mainly for the support or maintenance of your family. I got the sense that you work a job to provide for your kids, you take care of your health so you can be there for your kids, you go on grand life adventures so you can tell your kids about it someday, that sort of a thing. So, to me, the possibility of not having kids was like "hey do you wanna live a life devoid of lasting meaning?"

    That's absolutely not to say that I think others who aren't raising kids don't have meaningful lives. I frequently say that the best reason not to have kids is if you don't want kids. Same goes for not Just that a life without kids was not a life I wanted to be living. I want to get pregnant too, being gay didn't change that and being trans still hasn't changed that. Because of this, I started talking about kids early on. I mean, I played at nursing my stuffed animals as a kid, so I really started talking about it before I remember, but even when I got to my teenage years, I was still certain. I talked with my girlfriend about kids since we got together at age 16, and I let her know that her life plans were her own, but my life plans included kids. Full stop, no exceptions. It wasn't like I was planning it for a short time down the line, I still wanted to wait till our 30s, but I was never going to proceed as if the plan wasn't in place.

    To be honest, when I was a young teenager I found stories (and, to be brutally honest, terrible fan fiction) about guys getting pregnant, and I latched onto those stories tight. I kept it mostly private aside from a few close friends and internet strangers, but my own fascination didn't really make any sense to me at all until I realized I wasn't all girl. I fully intend on someday being an actual pregnant guy, which I know a lot of people can't wrap their heads around. It gives me a lot of gender euphoria to think about living my own life that way, so for me it just feels right. It feels more right than being the non childbearing parent, or the "mother".

    .

    However, this really is just my personal experience of my relationship with gender identity and pregnancy. Just because I don't have any aversion and I'm a trans person doesn't mean trans-ness couldn't be the cause of another person's aversion. Don't go against your own grain to align with expectations or norms. You know what's right for you. :slight_smile: