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getting called "out" in a restaurant...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by looking for me, Dec 10, 2017.

  1. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    so i was in the city on friday for appointments, gender counselor and speech pathologist, then a pflag holiday party. i dressed sort of fem, long ladies coat, girls jeans, blouse. i stopped for a bite at a fast food place and as i was turning away from the counter with my food i hear; 'are you Sarah-Dena?" i froze. then again "are you Sarah-Dena?" i turned and there's this teenager looking at me from behind the counter..... "what" i said, terrified. she said she recognized me from facebook, i didnt/dont know her from my groups and im not out to the general people on my friends list... she said she was the partner of someone who is in one of the groups im part of. no real harm was done but honestly, it was totally terrifying and such a shock to my system, i've never experienced that before and really hope i dont again to be honest.
     
  2. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I should have asked in the original post, has anyone else experienced this? and how did you deal with it.
     
  3. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    I deal with these situations before they start to exist. Deleting online presence, telling everyone to keep their mouths shut...

    if you prefer to be stealth, it‘s kinda hard work actually.
     
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  4. beewolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    28
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    Location:
    OR, USA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yeah, that's what I plan to do when I come out and start to transition. All my old social media is going down the drain and there's gonna be a stealth rule for anyone hanging out with me in public. And if you can't respect my right to be stealth (my safety, really) then I'm just not gonna hang out with you.

    I do worry that being stealth is gonna prove to be hella hard, but whatever. I'll try it.
     
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  5. Lipstick Leuger

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Michigan
    I see people all the time that i see on facebook and in groups and I treat it like AA.....I say nothing when I see them. I act like I don't know them and wait to see if they come up to me. That is how everyone should handle it.
     
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