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Genders and Tumblr

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SrFrancium, Dec 23, 2016.

  1. Daydreamer1

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    Being mentally ill myself, that shit is upsetting. It bothers me a bit too about how people can be so serious about it, especially when it crosses over into kins and say if you follow anyone who is the same kin as them to not follow them back and other kinds of stuff. It makes things awkward for me when someone I've been a mutual friend with for over six years from a community we're in is dead serious about his kin types and he's also trans...which is troubling to me.
     
  2. Canterpiece

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    Absorgender, Amicagender, Mirrorgender and Expecgender- Isn’t that just empathy? When I watch a film I like, with someone that I know won’t like the film, I start critising the film myself and try and figure out what they won’t or don’t like about the film. Sometimes this can cause me to dislike the film slightly, as I wouldn’t have thought of these nit-picks if it wasn’t for this person, even if they don’t say anything and you can just tell they don’t like it.

    When you hang out with a friend long enough, chances are you’ll pick up habits from them. I know I have. Even when you’re not around them, or they’re no longer a part of your life, chances are they have influenced you in some way.

    Sometimes a person make speak differently or otherwise act differently with certain friends, each friendship is slightly different. This is about human socialisation, not really gender. I get that you might act more feminine or masculine around someone, but that isn't really relevant to whether you're cis or not. It might influence your identity, but someone can see themselves as somewhat masculine yet still female (tomboy) or a feminine guy feels feminine be sees himself as male.

    Gender expression doesn't equal identity.
     
  3. RMember1

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    I'm not trans, but I feel like Tumblr patronizes trans people a ton, between special snowflakes and sometimes the posts I see arguing about what constitutes as 'trans' and openly mocking/hating on cis people.

    I don't use it for any sort of interaction, especially not with whatever semblance of an LGBT "community" resides there, other than reblogging/looking at nsfw pics/gifs.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    I really don't get why so many "genders" are based on changing masculine and feminine features. I feel masculine some days and feminine on others, but I'm ALWAYS a woman no matter what. Some trans men are feminine but they're still men. There is no such thing as a 100% masculine or feminine person. Even the most conservative of cis hetero people have both masculine and feminine traits.
     
  5. Gunsmoke

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    I 100% agree with you here. Whenever they decide to unplug themselves from their computers and walk back into a real world, they're going to get a really nasty shock. People forget thay the Tumblr community is not at all reflective of the real world.
    Most of the people claiming all of these obscure genders are between 14 and 20, though, so I reckon they'll grow out of it.

    ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 05:45 PM ----------

    I kind of think that people will make up anything in order to feel special. Generally, I don't give a damn what people identify as - it's kind of funny actually, I'm in a group chat with three of my online friends, and out of the four of us, I'm the only one who is cis - but some of it is just so ridiculous that it's going to end up damaging actual trans and NB people, if it doesn't already.

    Then again, everyone has different places where they draw the line as to what is "too weird". My ex is an aromantic bisexual, who is NB but prefers male pronouns. To me, that isn't "weird" at all, but some people might think that it is, no matter how much I'd disagree with them. At the same time, I really, really dislike the whole "kin" thing, but a lot of people would disagree with me on that.
     
  6. AnAtypicalGuy

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    I used to be rather indifferent to all the Tumblr genders until I realised how badly they damaged the credibility of actual transgender people. I ultimately struck the tipping point when my own parents refused to believe I was trans, simply because they thought I was getting "influenced by Tumblr trends".

    To me, most of the terms in that list are bullshit. Archaigender? Angeligender? Ekragender? What about Astergender? What the heck is a gender that "feels bright and celestial"? My personal favourite is Boggender, which supposedly "feels like a bog, swamp, marsh or similar ecosystem". I've skimmed through just under half of the list and I've since given up on listing all of the more ridiculous terms.

    Then there are the terms that are downright offensive, such as Autigender and Bordergender, the latter of which is apparently "experienced exclusively by people with BPD". Cavusgender is the worst one for me, since I've had depression many times and that "gender" seems to discredit the genuine emotions felt during times of depression. What is the point of mocking disabilities and mental illnesses in that way?

    According to that list, I am a transgender comgender commoboy, as well as lipsigender since I do feel depressed when I'm dysphoric. I suppose I'm also flowergender, as I don't feel gender during the night. Of course, that would be because I sleep during the night, so I don't really feel anything.
     
  7. anthracite

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    @Chiroptera: I meant it in a way that these kin idiots would like to have furry faces which I'd like to punch in. I see furries apart from that as something cosplayish. And this is cool, a real shitload of work.

    Well, they can believe that they are cats or whatever, but I will not try to avoid stepping on their imaginary tails. Which leads to the question: Do I need to respect or even accept psychosis? And about that respect debate I must honestly say that no one has my respect because he/she's LGBT. Same if said person is cis and straight. Respect is earned through achievement and/or being a great person. I outright refuse to throw respect around as if it was trash. It's gonna be devalued so bad. Acceptance for people who do no harm with their actions, yes, always. But no respect for simply being.

    Also I think a lot of questioning people are directed to tumblr genders when they're actually say softie transdudes. Because it still appears as if there were exactly one trans story and if yours differs you're something else.
     
  8. Assassin'sKat

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    Because of the more ridiculous genders produced by tumblr, people have begun to think that all nonbinary people are just being snowflakes. I don't know if being nonbinary is an actual thing or people being snowflakes, but I am open minded to it, as long as their label isn't some out-there thing(like I heard autism-gendered was a thing now???), and they aren't super annoying about it(like people who get super triggered when you misgender them as opposed to just correcting you because maybe you didn't know). Like, I think agender and bigender might be real things. I mean, I agree with a lot of anti-sjw beliefs, but I'm not gunna just dismiss this so easily until I see evidence that there are indeed only two genders. Although I do have a hard time believing it's a social construct. It's not! Your gender psychological! That's why transgendered people exist in the first place! If it were a social construct trans people would be able to feel comfortable in their bodies as they are because society tells them to.
     
  9. Gamma5

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    I've been thinking about this with people too. It's a complicated topic, just how gender is complicated I suppose. While it makes me angry when people respond to these tumbrl posts by saying " THERE ARE ONLY 2 GENDERS PENIS=MALE VAGINA=FEMALE" and yell about how anyone who suggests otherwise is stupid and doesn't understand biology ( when they don't understand that biological sex and gender aren't the same thing and even if they were what about Intersex people who may have an XY karyotype but ambiguous genitalia due to partial androgen insensitivity or " feminized" genitalia due to complete insensitivity) I can't take genders like " Arithmagender" or "Digigender" or " Cyclogender" seriously ( how can your gender be a fraction what even?) I think there's this sudden unhealthy need to label everyone and everything and that people go to great depths to do that. In an ideal world people should be able to wear, do and act how they want to and not receive judgement for being themselves but we seem to find this need to pin every thing down, creating sub level after sub level so everyone fits into a box, and even though at the moment I'm trying to find my own label ( hypocritical I know, although it's for my sexuality not my gender) the level to which it's gone to is becoming excessive almost. It also means that people who are genuinely Agender, Genderfluid or non-binary aren't taken seriously and their genders aren't considered " real", which is wrong. I'll respect people's identities because everyone is different and that should be accepted but I do feel conflicted whenever the " Tumblr Genders" are brought up. I can't even use the site, I tried making an account but I suck at using technology, and I feel like it tries to be super accepting and open minded yet somehow manages to become this scary aggressive creature full of angry rants and hatred.
     
  10. Assassin'sKat

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    I agree with you so much! I keep telling people that I don't understand why we have to come up with these super specific labels for every little feeling!
     
  11. PatrickUK

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    It's been somewhat gratifying to read the general consensus of opinion in this thread about the downright stupid and extreme labels.

    The whole subject of gender identity and expression is a difficult one and there is still a long way to go before we reach anything like perfect understanding, but when somebody who is already confused and questioning is confronted with an index of niche labels that range from plain odd to outrageously stupid, we need to ask if it's doing more harm than good. I'm quite clear that it's very harmful.

    Of course, everybody has the right to self expression, but it is concerning when those individuals go beyond self expression and aggressively promote how they feel in online spaces to create a bandwagon effect. That's when a line is crossed and real damage can be done.
     
  12. SiKiHe

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    From my experience, Tumblr has been damaging toward my understanding of myself. I knew nothing about trans people until early college. When I started to research terms and try to educate myself, tumblr popped up often and I would read and try to comprehend. I completely understand the need for a label or some other kind of explanation to how one might feel, but having an excess of labels is harmful. If I had simply learned about Transmen and masculine leaning Nonbinary people, I feel i'd have come to terms with myself faster. But with terms floating out there to describe the most minor differences, and many that describe things that seem to have nothing to do with gender, I was so confused. I also heard much of the anti-tumblr "trans doesn't exist at all" argument and was worried that the research I'd done had clouded my judgement of myself. The excess of information, often being created by young teenagers, resulted in a backlash that is just as harmful.

    After awhile I had done enough research from better sources, but when tumblr pops up at the top of the search, it takes some time to wade through to the actually helpful information.