I'm not entirely sure what 1) my gender is or 2) whether I'm questioning at all. I know no one else can tell me what I am / am not but other points of view would be appreciated. I'm male by birth, but have never been associated majorly with typical "male" traits. Since getting to university, I've found myself becoming more and more aligned with typical "female" traits, as well as a particular enjoyment in buying and wearing more feminine / female-oriented clothing. I generally would say that I feel like I am male (despite wanting to be female quite badly), but the fact that a lot of "female" traits and clothing and things like that make me wonder whether I'm actually questioning or not. I've looked into different gender identities and still come down to the main point of whether my gender is something that I'm feeling is wrong, or just not the gender binary I would have wanted I haven't gone into everything here but I'm open to more questions / comments / points of view to help me get a bit more clarity. Thank you munchkins x
I feel like I can't be much help, but I guess I would be wondering (if it was me) do I want the sexual parts of the opposite gender? Do I dislike the parts I have? What gender do I feel most fits me? When it comes to intimacy, do the answers to these questions change? Do I like being called she/he/they? Do I like being seen as a male/female/they? I am sure there are plenty of other questions one can ask themselves to aid in your question but these are the few I could think of. Traits and clothing don't have to match how we feel about our gender and we don't have to label it either. I feel that overall it only matters how we feel about ourselves and what makes us feel good. I am a female that dresses in men's clothing. I have asked myself the above questions when I realized I was most comfortable dressing in men's clothing with my hair cut short. I answered them with honesty and know that I am comfortable with my gender. I hate my top, but that is because I went through five pregnancies and breastfeeding. I can be called he/she/they/it and it doesn't bother me.
Those words in brackets are interesting. How long have you felt like that? And how strong, would you say, are these feelings? 'Quite badly' suggests that this isn't a passing whim. Beth
I don't actively dislike the parts I have but would choose a female physiology without a shadow of a doubt. I feel female most aligns with what I do / like, but I'm not sure if I FEEL female or just want to be female you know? I haven't tried pronouns yet but i love it when i get called "girl" or "sister" or "queen"
"Quite badly" is possibly a slight overstatement. Like its not an active nag that I'm physiologically male instead of female, but it's definitely like a "dang it" thing. For a few months now. Not like mega mega strong but I'm certain enough that given the chance to change magically to female I'd take it in a heartbeat
well hi there sophie or sam, i am actually feeling a bit the same way as you do and i have thought about the whole topic a bit and came to this "conclusion" for me. maybe some points of this list help you as well to decide which fits and which does not but i cant offer a solution for your questioning :/ childhood Imagine myself as someone else during imagination or dreams Preferences for friends of opposite gender Dislike about own anatomy (not necessarily gender related but rather height, big hands, skinny No concept of trans people only one thing that I knew or rather thought all trans people would want long hair or wearing towels to imitate long hair which is a concept not anything close to reality but thinking ok that’s different from me Thinking about if changing gender would be easily able than absolutely yes and not only for a day but entirely Feeling that name is wrong / ugly and wanting to have another one but more thinking about rather male names like Jack etc. just maybe I just didn’t like my real name because it wasn’t a good one Voice was always confusing but couldn’t figure out why Avoiding mirrors / photos at least after middle school (could relate to mobbing?) 2021 trying female clothing and liking it wearing make up and liking it 2022 this following points all came up quite quickly after thinking about gender and learning about non binarys as well as trans people as well after discovering that i am not straight. it might be related to me leaving my home and most of my friends aside which where homophobic and transphobic and having time to try express myself more like i am in every regards because i felt so pressured by them to be like them. all above points Dislike of your own anatomy and/or genitalia. Feeling sadness, fear, confusion, embarrassment, anger, or other emotions because of gender-related things. Dressing up, or wanting to dress, in clothing associated with this gender. Plus the upper points Feeling weird when referred to as him, son or male connotated words feeling out of place when you are with a group of people of your assigned gender. and as well as feeling out of place with my body in a group of only females (only body not mentally) Happy about she/her pronouns like really happy, they/them is better than he/him but not as much as she/her Uncomfortable when referred to as a male experiencing disphoria with beard but without as well because face shape is to broad and to squared Feeling that name is wrong especially while referring to me as she / her wanting to have female body parts and more female body wanting to have boobs but not really having disphoria about my lower parts but if given the choice i would want them to be female as well. but in reality i dont really care that it is what it is down there only exeption is that it hinders me from wearing more clothes that i like because in society it is weird for others an whatnot nonsense and therefore its weird for me voice too deep my problem is actually not if i want to be female or not because i want to be really but the reason for this is the problem. i am asking myself constantly is it only because i was suffering under severe mobbing in middle school and hated myself like since then and only think that transition to a female would help with my body image or if its something other. and as well wtf is a valid reason to be trans i am so confused right now beacuse i cant figure that out. on the other hand if i could choose to be a men or a women that is in my eyes beautiful i would always choose woman and is that only because i think that women are a lot more asthetically pleasing than men? because if its just about beauty and its perception then im not trans and this is the fault of (myself), others and beautystandards but otherwise i might more think that i am trans than this...
I'm in the same boat as you. Maybe you brought a snack? Anyway, I was born female, but have always acted like a guy. Right down to all my friends being guys, and being one of the dudes (more so online). The best advice I can give you, which has been given to me, so what YOU want to make yourself comfortable. If it doesn't work, change things again. Then change them again if ya need to. Eventually, you'll have enough clues to be able to solve the puzzle. Just be patient, and experiment.
I fully agree with this. When I discovered who I really was then it was like all the puzzle pieces shifted into place and I experienced euphoria too, when I imagined myself as a guy. It was amazing feeling, when I figured myself out.
Hi, I am in a similar situation. Long life as a male and as I approach retirement, I’m thinking it may be time to live the rest of my life as a woman. Not sure how I would handle the reaction from family and friends.
