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Gender Issues

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Justinian20, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. Justinian20

    Regular Member

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    I may be having some gender issues that I need to talk about

    So first for some background, it might be a more sexual thing because I have a fetish for crossdressing and I have a slight fetish towards being transformed by a partner into a woman. Actually to be honest it’s the strongest part of my fetish. I do somewhat desire it as well but I wouldn’t do it on my own.

    On my own I’m comfortable being a male and I’m also comfortable being a female if it does happen. I wouldn’t regret either decision, but I will say deep inside I’ve always felt more feminine than masculine. And part of me crossdressing is expressing that feminine side and if I was transformed with obvious parts remaining, I would be able to let my feminine self run free and live with the part of me that I keep hidden from most people.

    I think I might actually be somewhat transgender, I guess the first thing is my parents do believe in gender roles and they also happen to tell me I’ve always been a boy and I’m not a girl, I guess I get a little defensive when they say that because I do say “I know I’m not a girl.” I’m really unsure about it though.

    Like at first it was like “why do I like erotica about “sissy boys”(kinky term not meant in the insulting way a straight transphobe or homophobe would use it) taking hormones and getting girly bodies and stuff like that,” then I used to imagine it happening to me and that also revealed I’m a little bit Biromantic especially as a female. I also get very erect when I do think about it.

    I’m thinking it could be because I want a trans female girlfriend but then whenever I think about it, it’s like I envision myself as the transformed girl. But I am comfortable as a male because I don’t hate my male body parts but I do admit I don’t like all the body hair I get and how fast it grows back.

    I’m not exactly sure about my gender I just know I’m definitely not cisgender.
     
  2. Rocio

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    Google Demi boy or Demi girl
     
  3. Hanyauku

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    Hi Justian20! I like your username, totally off topic but figured it was still worth saying. In regards to your post, a few things. First, sex. Haha! When you say you are turned on by being transfomed into a woman by a partner, do you mean sissification? Or do you like imagining sex where you are the woman? I think there is an important difference between the two. The former strikes me as more fetishistic, while the latter could be more in line with having a female identity, at least in my opinion. I consider myself to be trans, and when I was coming to terms with my identity, I was worried it was just a fetish. But if you are a trans woman, then liking to imagine yourself as female during sex makes sense, because that's who you are, and most sexual fantasies involve ourselves, at least most of mine do! Also, when I watch porn, I usually watch straight porn, which would surprise all the people who think I'm a gay man, but it makes sense to me because I see myself as a woman who likes men, and I want to have sex in the way a straight woman does.

    Moving on, cross dressing. I can't speak for all trans women, but in my experience and things I've heard from others, most trans women don't get turned on from wearing women's clothes. I love wearing and feel much more comfortable in women's clothes, but I don't find the actual act of wearing them erotic. Is the only reason, or at least the main reason, that you like to wear women's clothes for sexual gratification? I don't think this is a disqualifier for you being trans, because I don't think one thing determines our identify, but it's worth considering.

    If you've lurked around EC for a bit, then you've probably come across the term "dysphoria". Do you experience it? There are different types, like physical or social. And it varies from person to person. For example, while I'm not a huge fan of my body, and I want the stereotypical cis girl body with boobs and a vagina, my biggest source of dysphoria is actually social. I hate that other people see me as a man and refer to me as such. I've always fit in better with girls, and feel out of place in a group of guys. I love being referred to with female pronouns, and having my chosen named used. Do you want to be seen as a woman by others? You said that you would "transform with obvious parts remaining". Is this because you don't want to undergo a physical transition (which isn't necessary to justify a trans identity, so don't worry if you don't want this), or does it go back to cross-dressing, with that male identity remaining?

    Less commonly mentioned, but just as helpful in figuring things out, is gender euphoria. I've already alluded to this a little, but to break things down, it's when you feel really good doing things associated with your target gender. For example, like I said, I enjoy being referred to with female pronouns. I also like painting my nails, how my hair is finally starting to get longer, shaving my legs, wearing women's clothes and makeup. You get the idea. When questioning your identity, I would examine your experiences with both dysphoria and euphoria.

    To finish up, the most important thing is how you see yourself. Because the only qualification for being trans is saying you are. It's about your internal identify. I see myself as a girl, plain and simple. And that brings me to my final, and most important, question. When you picture your future, who are you in it? A man, a woman, or someone else? That question, more than anything, helped me figure myself out. I hope you have a good day! Or night? I have no idea what time it is in Australia. :slight_smile:
     
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  4. Justinian20

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    I think to be honest I'm more on the sexualisation side and I don't feel any dysphoria for being male, I'm just not opposed to the idea if someone does want me to somewhat become more on the female side than the male side. But I wouldn't feel dysphoria either way. But I do like wearing womens clothes as clothes, they feel like they have more purpose than guys clothes.

    If I did have the option I would ultimately prefer to dress in more commonly identified "girls" clothes. Just because they are so much more comfortable, but the thing about that is, I wouldn't care if I looked male or female in those clothes. If I looked male I would just be a man with a heavy feminine side, if I looked female I might be a little more comfortable in the clothes because most likely it would be rarer for me to be insulted or made fun of for wearing feminine clothes.

    Internally I feel both ways sometimes, I definitely have my more feminine days where I just want to go out in a dress and makeup but then I also have more masculine days where I'm in my room video gaming and playing fun games(yeah, I know realistically this isn't very masculine at all). But I have both days where I feel certain ways, but I definitely will say I'm probably not a trans woman, I'm probably more in the non binary gender identities.
     
  5. Mihael

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    If you would be okay being male or female maybe you are non-binary, androgynous, something of that sort. Or maybe you're gender fluid if you feel more feminine or masculine on certain days? There is for sure some gender fluidity going on from what you describe.
     
  6. JaimeGaye

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    I agree with Olivia that the wearing of clothes for an identifying straight fem girl is important as an identifier of her true nature and how she wishes to project and be seen by the world but becoming aroused by her clothing choices is not her primary focus of her fashion choices though I'm sure she hopes others may find her choices flattering on her.

    As a fem gay male my choice in clothing is much more gender neutral than outright masculine or feminine.
    Again I don't become sexually aroused by my clothing options but am certainly aware that my hope is someone will see my choices as attractive on me and hopefully it will perk their curiosity to get to know me better.

    Many totally straight and otherwise masculine males enjoy crossdressing as a way to better understand females and how they may see the world while dressed in their clothes.

    As for me, I LOVE watching pretty women who dress well and look good in their clothes.
    I admire them and can only wish I looked that good in a little black dress. :slight_smile: