Hi there. I'm 17 and I've been out for about three years though I've known I was queer a lot longer. About when I came out as pan, I figured out that I was genderfluid but mostly kept it to myself. Gotten a bit more confident talking about it and can even manage to wear my binder to school and hold my head high. But I still don't feel like I read as male; I mean the mid-length pink hair isn't helping but I'm not allowed to cut it because cultural reasons. So I started researching packers, STPs and stuff. It would be nice to go to the bathroom like a dude on the days I identify as one instead of having to kinda slink into the girls bathroom and hope nobody notices. It's like the worst part of the day. So, where do I start? What do I need to get, how is an stp device different from a packer, basically start from square one on assigned fem at birth transition devices because I have no resources on this. I'm not that out. Thanks in advance
Packers are silicone phallic prosthetics that make it look like you have a bulge like a cis guy. All a packer is, is a solid piece of silicone that's shaped like a phallus. STPs, or stand-to-pee devices are exactly what they're name is, a prosthetic to alleviate dysphoria and allows the user to pee standing up. STPs have a hollow inside to allow the user to pee standing up. STPs are generally more expensive than packers, but you can find some relatively cheap one's for $50+. Whereas packers can go anywhere from $15+. If you want a packer, you can always just use a balled up sock pinned to your underwear. Some STPs will also work for some people but not for others, https://www.ftmessentials.com/ has a pretty wide variety of packers, STPs, and other stuff from various sellers for relatively cheap. You can also get some male clothes if you don't have some already. You can go to thrift shops and get some pretty good finds for cheap there, and people honestly don't care if you buy men's clothes and you don't "pass". As long as you pay for the clothes, they don't care. You can also put your hair up in a hat, your school may not allow hats, but elsewhere, they may help you pass.
Planning to take a trip and get some guys' clothes, I pretty much live in jeans and t-shirts so it's fairly neutral. Bonus of living on a budget though I can't spend a lot on clothes that I don't need but will make me feel better in myself. Beanies are trans* peoples' best friends, no? Up with the hair! So, more stupid questions... I get the difference there between a STP and a packer, but thing is STPs don't come with instruction manuals or even some real guidelines. Do you wear it like all day same as a packer, or do you get one of each? Do you need a strap for all of them or no? I am still confused. FTM essentials looks good but again overwhelming amount of STUFF.
The only thing you might get with an STP or packer is how to care for it. Some STPs can be worn all day, while others can't be, these are usually the cheaper ones that can't be. With some STPs the user might need big pockets (cargo shorts) or a bag to transport it. Also, don't get too excited when/if you get an STP, take a few days/weeks and use it at home to get used to it to avoid any leakage. Some people have both an STP and packer while others just have a packer or STP. It's really up to you what you want or need. Not all packers and STPs will work with all harnesses, some prosthetics are a bit softer than others and some harnesses can tear the prosthetic. It just depends on which you get. It's typically the O-ring harnesses that will tear a prosthetic unless the company says a product can or can't be used with an O-ring type harness. For harnesses, I like Rodeoh, however the only thing with them is that they're underwear and they're expensive. Unless you're willing to buy a few pairs, I'd recommend getting a simple harness. Also, this is just my opinion, but stay away from Aslan harnesses, they're not that great. On that site, the Joey pouches are pretty good, but I'd wear them with briefs or boxer briefs, something tighter. But it just depends on your needs in the end. As for STPs/packers, I've heard a lot of people have had success with the P-Style, it's not super realistic, but it's cheap and a good starter STP. As for packers, the Masho is a good starter packer, again is cheap and a good starter.
As far as your outward appearance goes, it's not just about the clothes themselves, it's also about the accessories. I know you mentioned a beanie, but what about a "newsboy" hat (https://www.macys.com/shop/mens-clothing/mens-hats-gloves-scarves/Hat_style/Newsboy?id=47657). They are very masculine looking, though you might need to use hairpins to keep your hair tucked underneath them. Also a men's watch is something good to have, and they don't have to be expensive to look nice. I would also suggest a men's wallet, though a little hint with the wallet, you don't have to carry it in your back pants pocket, you can put it in your front pocket, that way you're not sitting on it, and it makes it more difficult for someone to steal it.
I echo the hat idea. I own an ivy cap, or newsboy cap, and when I was pre-T it helped me pass way more than anything else.
