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gender ambiguity?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Pseudojim, Aug 13, 2010.

  1. Pseudojim

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    Hi all

    So i was doing a bit of introspection, and considering the way my brain seems to work and what not... is it at all common for people to feel like neither gender in particular?

    When i'm with certain people, depending on their personality types... i will act anything from very masculine, sounding a bit more baritone and rough than usual and scratching the crotch of my jeans while sitting legs apart.... to very feminine, with dainty little gestures and all manner of really stereotypically feminine behaviour. i'm comfortable at both extremes, in the right company.

    another thing... in my fantasies, it's just as likely that i will be imagining myself as a man as it is that i'll be a woman instead.

    So i dunno what all this means, but maybe someone out there has some idea...
     
  2. Ben

    Ben
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    I've had some trouble with gender identity before. The advice given to me was always "just go with it", but that was never good enough for me.

    I'm very similar in that I don't feel the need or desire to conform to any gender roles. And to take that further, I don't really want to be male. Because I don't feel male. But I know that I don't feel female either, so if I were female, I would still be unsatisfied with my gender.

    There are plenty of other people out there who go as far as to identify as a "third gender", and I expect they feel a similar way to how we do and how many others do.
    But I think my ongoing conclusion has been to act in the way I'm most comfortable acting. And I think that I'm most comfortable wearing male clothes and identifying as male in our society. In an ideal world, maybe I would be something elseā€”not female or male. Not so black and white. But that, to me in this life, would be too much trouble over changing something I can quite happily handle and live with the way it is.
     
  3. Pseudojim

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    i guess i'm lucky in that i seem to like both genders quite a bit!

    but you're right, i guess social pressures to a degree dictate the image we convey, which sucks
     
  4. rocking23

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    If you're saying you act gayer around certain people and less gay around another set of certain people, then yes, I do this too. Not on purpose of course, but I do notice myself being less of, what I call "who I actually am," around people that aren't my friends. When I'm with my friends, I look like a house fire.
     
  5. Pseudojim

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    no, it's not so much a concept of sexuality in terms of what i am attracted to, but who i am. And who i am is different depending on who i'm with, and/or what mood i'm in.
     
  6. SaturdaySaviour

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    Yes, I think that's common.

    I can relate to what you wrote, some days I feel more feminine, I'll dress up nicely, wear makeup and just act more feminine. Or sometimes I feel comfortable in plain men's clothes. Or sometimes I feel completely neutral. I think it's normal.

    I often spend time thinking about genders and I'm certain that I would be just as comfortable with myself if I were a male. Still, being a "girl" means you can experiment more easily without attracting too much attention, imho.
     
  7. TheEdend

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    I'm extremely confused to tell you the truth. Gender identity has to do with your body, right? Or this it also have to do with how feminine or masculine you are?

    I think its normal for anyone to do whatever they feel like it at the time. Why does acting feminine mean you want to be a girl and why does acting masculine mean you would want to be a guy? After all, the definitions of masculinity and femininity was given to us by the people that thought that each gender should have their own role. Something that I think its beyond outdated.
     
  8. Elven

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    I've started to cling to the phrase 'Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom' as to doubt your very being dosent make you flawed in the slightest, it simply makes you dig deeper and find out more about yourself and 'It's better to travel hopefully than to arrive' as even if you can never quite define what you are, you will be a better person mentally and spiritually for trying.
     
  9. UnAmourFatal

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    I have the same. Regarding fantasies.
    I only recently started to think of myself as a woman. First I was like..I accepted being gay, so why should I worry about my sexual fantasies. They're just fantasies, rejecting and denying them would only cause trouble. But now it's a bit unsettling for me. I don't feel like a woman in the everydays. I'm a guy. I love guys. Why isn't that enough?

    I don't want to be transsexual. I do believe life would be easier to me as a woman, but as a biological woman. A woman who was born female. With real female genitals, etc.
    Honestly, even with surgery i could never become a real woman and lead a real woman's life. Being 2 metres (that's like 7feet or more i guess?) is only the tip of the iceberg of things that would make me look ridiculous.

    So I'm a gay man. Happy with being gay, and i start fantasizing about being woman.
    I don't want to get accustomed to this. I want to fantasise about men loving me for what i am. Why can't this get me off? I do hope this will change.

    Not that i am sooo concerned about this, i regard sexuality as a thing that flows, so i think i'll just go with it. I just had to write these things now.
     
  10. Deaths Sub

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    I have the same issues. I wish I could figure them out...