Hi everyone! About 4 years ago I came out as a lesbian and started only dating women. Until a couple years ago I fell in love with a man. But I miss women so much. I’m not really sexually attracted to him, but love him very much romantically. I want to have kids with him someday. (I did used to like having sex with him more, but i’m afraid that was just because of my daddy issues and i was looking for my dissappeared father in him.) Now everytime I pass lesbian couples or see om tv or anything I get jealous/miss it. Even having gay dreams. We’ve talked about being in an open relationship, but i don’t want to be “THAT bisexual”. Plus, i’m demisexual so only being physical with someone without really knowing them would be tough. Don’t know what to di
Hey welcome to EC. That is a really tough decision, I think it's great that you at least have open discussions with him but deciding what is right for you is really tough. Do you think if you were in a relationship with a woman you would miss the romantic connection you have with him?
Thanks! For sure, I love my life with him, he takes great care of me. He’s totally my soulmate, I just wish he were a woman.
I guess the first question is could you live the rest of your life in your current situation and be happy? I'm assuming the answer to that is no as you are on this forum discussing it.
Just so you know, there is no shame in being "THAT bisexual". Some bisexuals really do need to have their romantic and sexual needs met in different ways and that's okay. I know there is a lot of shame and stereotypes associated with this which is why I wanted to point out that if this is what you need to do to be happy then it's okay to do what you want and give yourself permission to do that. Maybe instead of an open relationship you might consider polyamory. So you would be bringing another woman into the mix as a third full partner, romantically and physically, and you would go on dates to get to know her and met her etc. How would he feel about that? Would he be open to a more permanent arrangement in your future marriage? Would you want to only be with this women by yourself, or would he want to be involved with her as well? Or would he want maybe a different partner altogether outside of what you share? Polyamory can look so many ways depending on what you need. It might be an option worth considering since you say that you really love him.
