I'm a girl who likes other girls... which makes me a lesbian. But I prefer the label of gay - not sure why yet, I just like the word better. Is it OK to refer to yourself as 'gay' when you're female, or is it reserved for 'guy who likes guys'? I know somebody's going to reply that "you can go by whatever label feels most comfortable to you" or similar, and I know that's true, but I'm asking specifically about what is normal and accepted in LGBT communities/society in general. I'm in the UK if it makes a difference.
Absolutely, it’s actually very common, partly because it’s just easier (you can use the same word for men/women) but also because there are a lot of reasons why people might not feel comfortable for a lot of us, especially in the early phase of self discovery, before you’ve haf the chance to “reclaim” the word. The label lesbian often feels a bit uncomfortable for a lot of people at first, because it is often used in very sexual contexts (ie porn) and it can be hard to shake off the very sexualized image that people imagine if they say lesbian. For me, i don’t feel comfortable calling myself a lesbian because it’s such a gendered word, and i struggle with womanhood quite a lot. If gay feels more comfortable for you to use for yourself, definitely go for it!
I also personally prefer to use the term gay rather than lesbian, due to it being such a gendered term. Some gay women prefer the term lesbian, while other prefer the term gay. Both essentially mean the same thing, as in "attracted to the same sex". You can use whatever label you feel more comfortable with, if you prefer the term gay, then go for it.
Hello Broccoli I call my new female friend a lesbian but infront of her I would call her gay. If I'm honest and in my opinion I prefer gay for both sexes. I don't really like the Word lesbian. I know some people will disagree.
Thanks everyone. I'm not sure what I've got against the word 'lesbian' but I definitely don't feel as comfortable with it. One contributing factor I think is that, whilst you'd normally say 'I am gay' (in the same was as you'd say 'I am cheerful' or 'I am lazy'), you'd say 'I am *a* lesbian' which seems to be more... self-defining?... than just describing gayness as one of your characteristics without the 'a'.
I think this is definitely a part of it, actually it's quite common for gay women not to like the word lesbian. I usually say gay I'm not really sure why I just think it sounds nicer somehow.
This place is amazing for making me feel less weird! Nice to know I'm not the only one who prefers 'gay'.
I've heard a lot of lesbians prefer the term gay. I think it's fine. Some people don't like the word lesbian because it's a noun, and feels too much like they're defined by their sexuality whereas gay is an adjective and a descriptor. I have never heard any girl be criticized for preferring to call herself gay rather than lesbian
Irionically I'm actually bisexual, but if someone was referring to a same sex relationship of mine as a "lesbian relationship", I would be fine with it. I know a lot of lesbians think the word is not all that great sounding because they think it sounds like a disease, but I actually really like the word and think it's cool.
But I'm probably just weird. I don't have bad experiences with the word the way some people do though so that's probably why. I like the history behind it too, since I'm a big history nerd. Sappho, all that cool stuff. Idk I think the word lesbian is kinda sexy.
I don’t mind the word lesbian it kinda sounds exotic. Dike on the other hand I do not like. I’ve heard that word use to degrade women growing up and never like it. I prefer gay, bi or lesbian.
I agree! Dyke, or dike, sound bad to me. Honestly, they sound as bad as fag or faggot to me. Those are all words that really bother me and make me feel uncomfortable. But lesbian? I agree it sounds exotic and appealing. I don't know, I feel like if someone said I was "such a lesbian" or something like that I would feel complimented.
I like the word gay too. But hearing the word lesbian, (particularly with a French accent? Sigh. There is something so beautiful about that.
I tend to switch between the two when referring to other people. As a Bisexual woman I am only ever referred to, and refer to myself as, Bi. I do like the word Lesbian. There is something nice about the word itself. But then again Gay is just fine too.
